Natural contraception
If you don't want to use devices or chemicals to prevent pregnancy, it is possible to learn how to predict a woman's fertile times. You may then either have sex or abstain, depending upon whether or not you want to become pregnant. If you are using this method, it is best to book some time with a sexual and reproductive nurse to learn about the issues in some detail. This method really requires you to learn a lot about your body. You will find many helpful books and articles, if you contact your local library or the local family planning library.
What are the advantages?
* It is a totally natural approach, involving no chemicals
* It is acceptable to all religious beliefs
* It allows women to be in touch with their own bodies and natural changes.
* It can be used to either avoid or to plan a pregnancy
* It is effective only with strict adherence to the rules
* It is a method that requires commitment from couples.
What are the disadvantages/side effects?
* Effective learning about the method can take up to six months. Expert instruction is needed.
* Intercourse must be avoided for extended periods which may correspond to those when a woman's libido is strongest.
* Daily records must be kept
* Indicators of fertility may be changed by events such as illness, having sex or stress
* Both the woman and her partner must co-operate
* There is no protection against sexually transmissible infections.
What is a normal menstrual cycle?
This is the time taken from the start of one period to the start of the next, with the first day of the menstrual period described as Day One.
If you have a 28-day cycle, it is likely that:
* You will produce an egg sometime between Day 11 and Day 17
* The egg will survive for approximately one day
* The next period will come between 11 and 17 days later
* A woman can fall pregnant anywhere from Day 4 to Day 18.
What works and what doesn't?
The Rhythm Method
This involves calculating the safe days of a woman's period. This is NOT a recommended method, because even women who have their periods "like clockwork" may have an early or late ovulation without knowing it. Such a situation may affect the timing of the so-called "safe" period.
Temperature
The body temperature rises shortly after ovulation, and stays high until the next menstrual period. You will need to take your temperature vaginally or orally before you get up every morning (preferably using a digital thermometer). The rise will be at least 0.2 degrees C but may be as high as 0.5 degrees C. You are no longer fertile when you have recorded temperatures for three days in a row that are higher than all the previous six days. Remember that other factors such as taking painkillers, having a cold, or even sleeping in, can all affect your body temperature.
Mucus Changes
The cervix (which connects the top of the vagina to the uterus) produces mucus that changes over the time of the menstrual cycle. Immediately after your period you will notice that there is little or no mucous and there is a dry sensation on the vulva or skin outside the vagina. Women with short cycles may not have a dry period and, in women with longer cycles, this dry period may be extended.
Once mucus begins to appear in your cycle, you are entering your fertile time. The vulva feels wet and the mucus may be wet, sticky or cloudy. Over the next few days, the mucus becomes more watery, clear and elastic (it looks like raw egg white). At this time the mucus is so sticky that it can be stretched between two fingers without breaking. This is your time of peak fertility.
Shortly after ovulation, the mucus changes and become thicker and more fragile (associated with a rise in body temperature and a dry vulva).
Commercially Available Ovulation Predictors
These tests generally use urine to measure a hormone that rises for a brief period of time just before ovulation. They are expensive and are best for women trying to increase their chances of becoming pregnant.
Does natural contraception work?
When you stick to the rules, it is 98 percent effective. But only if you have sex when the rules say it is OK (and unfortunately that can mean not having sex when your libido is strongest). Some women combine natural family planning with barrier methods such as condoms and diaphragms to decrease their chances of becoming pregnant.
And if I ignore the rules?
Emergency contraception is available from your pharmacy, doctor or local family planning clinic within 120 hours of having sex.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
What is Unprotected anal sex ?
Unprotected anal sex
Question:
I am a 17-year-old gay male in a completely monogamous relationship. What I would like to know is if there is any risk involved with having unprotected anal sex. We have both had sexual partners in the past with whom we used protection, and both of us are disease-free.
Answer:
Regardless of sexual orientation, many couples hit a stage in their relationship when they become eager to take their intimacy to a more intense level, so seek to do away with latex, and engage in unprotected sexual behaviour.
To be clear, safest sex is always protected, usually by using latex, including condoms, gloves and dental dams, during all oral, anal and vaginal love play. When you want to have unprotected sex, you need to be 110 percent sure that you and your partner are completely monogamous in sexual behaviour of all kinds. You and your partner should talk about this level of commitment, and the level of honesty and expectations you have, if for some reason, he or you do stray sexually. You both need to take your sexual health and relationship health seriously through open communication. You should also both be tested for any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to verify both of your disease-free status. This is not to question your partner's integrity and trust, or yours, but rather to establish peace of mind, and optimal safety. Many people don't realise that many STIs are asymptomatic, so sometimes people may not even know they have something. Most sexual health clinics will recommend that couple engage in protected sex play for at least three months, even when in a disease-free, monogamous relationship. Once you have the medical all clear, though, and plenty of honest, open dialogue about your sexual relationship, then you can generally consider that a green light. If you have any doubts or questions, seek specific advice from your nearest sexual health GP or Family Planning clinic.
Question:
I am a 17-year-old gay male in a completely monogamous relationship. What I would like to know is if there is any risk involved with having unprotected anal sex. We have both had sexual partners in the past with whom we used protection, and both of us are disease-free.
Answer:
Regardless of sexual orientation, many couples hit a stage in their relationship when they become eager to take their intimacy to a more intense level, so seek to do away with latex, and engage in unprotected sexual behaviour.
To be clear, safest sex is always protected, usually by using latex, including condoms, gloves and dental dams, during all oral, anal and vaginal love play. When you want to have unprotected sex, you need to be 110 percent sure that you and your partner are completely monogamous in sexual behaviour of all kinds. You and your partner should talk about this level of commitment, and the level of honesty and expectations you have, if for some reason, he or you do stray sexually. You both need to take your sexual health and relationship health seriously through open communication. You should also both be tested for any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to verify both of your disease-free status. This is not to question your partner's integrity and trust, or yours, but rather to establish peace of mind, and optimal safety. Many people don't realise that many STIs are asymptomatic, so sometimes people may not even know they have something. Most sexual health clinics will recommend that couple engage in protected sex play for at least three months, even when in a disease-free, monogamous relationship. Once you have the medical all clear, though, and plenty of honest, open dialogue about your sexual relationship, then you can generally consider that a green light. If you have any doubts or questions, seek specific advice from your nearest sexual health GP or Family Planning clinic.
What is Female ejaculation?
Female ejaculation?
Question:
I have been with my partner for nearly three years and I have never been able to orgasm. But lately when we have been making love he has been making me pee instead. I was wanting to know why this is.
Answer:
First of all, know that you are not alone. Over 26 percent of women report having difficulties with orgasm. It is critical that enough continued and direct stimulation of the clitoris occurs in order to achieve orgasm. Not only do many men not realise this (and stop stimulating too early), but women also assume that orgasm can be easily achieved during intercourse – not so, according to sexological research. Women who do report experiencing reliable and frequent orgasms through intercourse are those who either using the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), in which the partner "rides high" on the woman, grinding, rather than thrusting, so their pelvis provides continued clitoral stimulation during intercourse, or, they are women who adequately or continually stimulate the clitoris during sex, or they are women who feel pleasure through their G-spot during intercourse. It’s very possible you could be one of these women, because women who feel G-Spot pleasure often report an initial feeling of having to pee. With continued G-Spot stimulation, that feeling passes, and pleasure, sometimes intensely to orgasm, can occur.
Also, a small fraction of women can be female ejaculators. The fluid released, on orgasm, or just before, is often mistaken for urine, but is, in fact, quite different in substance, and nothing at all to worry about. Another possibility to consider is that just prior to, and during orgasm, the whole pelvic region contracts in rapid "pleasure pulses", including the bladder and urethra, as well as the pelvic floor muscles. It’s possible that as you approach orgasm, some of the muscle tension of your increased sexual response, and smaller contractions, are triggering the release of urine. If you feel this is the case, it would be a good idea to talk with your sexual health GP about possible solutions. If you feel on the other hand, that this occurrence is due to G-Spot stimulation, you can lessen the anxiety through reading books and articles on female ejaculation, and talking with your partner about your pleasure in lovemaking, by perhaps suggesting increased foreplay, alternate positions, and variation of stimulation, not only expecting pleasure through intercourse.
Question:
I have been with my partner for nearly three years and I have never been able to orgasm. But lately when we have been making love he has been making me pee instead. I was wanting to know why this is.
Answer:
First of all, know that you are not alone. Over 26 percent of women report having difficulties with orgasm. It is critical that enough continued and direct stimulation of the clitoris occurs in order to achieve orgasm. Not only do many men not realise this (and stop stimulating too early), but women also assume that orgasm can be easily achieved during intercourse – not so, according to sexological research. Women who do report experiencing reliable and frequent orgasms through intercourse are those who either using the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), in which the partner "rides high" on the woman, grinding, rather than thrusting, so their pelvis provides continued clitoral stimulation during intercourse, or, they are women who adequately or continually stimulate the clitoris during sex, or they are women who feel pleasure through their G-spot during intercourse. It’s very possible you could be one of these women, because women who feel G-Spot pleasure often report an initial feeling of having to pee. With continued G-Spot stimulation, that feeling passes, and pleasure, sometimes intensely to orgasm, can occur.
Also, a small fraction of women can be female ejaculators. The fluid released, on orgasm, or just before, is often mistaken for urine, but is, in fact, quite different in substance, and nothing at all to worry about. Another possibility to consider is that just prior to, and during orgasm, the whole pelvic region contracts in rapid "pleasure pulses", including the bladder and urethra, as well as the pelvic floor muscles. It’s possible that as you approach orgasm, some of the muscle tension of your increased sexual response, and smaller contractions, are triggering the release of urine. If you feel this is the case, it would be a good idea to talk with your sexual health GP about possible solutions. If you feel on the other hand, that this occurrence is due to G-Spot stimulation, you can lessen the anxiety through reading books and articles on female ejaculation, and talking with your partner about your pleasure in lovemaking, by perhaps suggesting increased foreplay, alternate positions, and variation of stimulation, not only expecting pleasure through intercourse.
What is hiv & aids ?
What are HIV and AIDS?
HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a virus that is spread by sexual or blood-borne contact. HIV attacks the immune system, but it may appear dormant for many years before increasing immune breakdown leads to the full-scale phase known as AIDS (Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome). Because the body's defence mechanisms are slowly broken down by HIV, it becomes increasingly difficult for the affected person to fight infection. Therefore, AIDS deaths are often caused by relatively common ailments such as pneumonia.
Recently there has been a move away from labelling HIV-related deaths as AIDS. Many practitioners prefer to call them "advanced HIV" or "late stage" HIV.
Can HIV be cured?
At present, there is no permanent cure for either stage of the infection. There are, however, a number of drugs that slow the virus's progress — most effectively a group of drugs called antiretrovirals (ART). Combination therapy has also been shown to be effective: taking different types of drugs at the same time. This means, though, that the person with HIV is reliant on taking a large number of drugs each day, some of which may create side effects.
How would I get HIV?
The usual way people come into contact with HIV is through sexual activity — semen, vaginal fluids and menstrual blood can all carry the virus in significant enough quantities to transmit it. However, infected needles shared during drug use or used for medical treatment in an affected country may also pass on the virus, as can breastmilk from an HIV-positive mother. There have been cases of HIV transmission during organ transplants or blood transfusions, though Australia screens its donors thoroughly for the HIV virus. Where pregnant women carry the HIV virus, there is a significant chance that the infant will become infected, through childbirth or through breastfeeding.
How can I avoid getting HIV?
* Whether heterosexual or gay, always use a condom when having sex.
* If you're an intravenous drug user, never share needles.
* When travelling overseas to areas where HIV is more widespread, take a pack of clean hypodermic syringes that may be used for emergency medical treatment.
* Don't share razors or any object where blood may be passed from one person to another.
* You can't get HIV from kissing, shaking hands, using public toilet seats or sitting in the same area as somebody who carries the virus.
How do I know if I have HIV?
Because HIV often manifests as a "parasitic" illness (eg. pneumonia), the symptoms may be many and varied. Often these include extreme fatigue, as the body becomes weakened and unable to fight the infection(s).
The only sure way to know if you have HIV is to have a blood test. If you have very recently had an HIV-risky experience — for example, unprotected sex — it is likely that you will be asked back in another three months for another blood test. This is because it takes that length of time for HIV to develop in sufficient quantities to be detectable in your blood.
What should I do if I have HIV?
Medical advice from a qualified practitioner should always be sought and, depending on the area in which you live, specialist treatment will probably be given. This will determine the level of medication prescribed. At the same time, counselling may be offered to help you come to terms with having the virus.
In general terms, keeping well is essential for your body to maintain its immune system. Eat a healthy, balanced diet, reduce your intake of alcohol and try not to overexert yourself through work or excessive social commitments. See your doctor for further information.
HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a virus that is spread by sexual or blood-borne contact. HIV attacks the immune system, but it may appear dormant for many years before increasing immune breakdown leads to the full-scale phase known as AIDS (Acquired Immuno-Deficiency Syndrome). Because the body's defence mechanisms are slowly broken down by HIV, it becomes increasingly difficult for the affected person to fight infection. Therefore, AIDS deaths are often caused by relatively common ailments such as pneumonia.
Recently there has been a move away from labelling HIV-related deaths as AIDS. Many practitioners prefer to call them "advanced HIV" or "late stage" HIV.
Can HIV be cured?
At present, there is no permanent cure for either stage of the infection. There are, however, a number of drugs that slow the virus's progress — most effectively a group of drugs called antiretrovirals (ART). Combination therapy has also been shown to be effective: taking different types of drugs at the same time. This means, though, that the person with HIV is reliant on taking a large number of drugs each day, some of which may create side effects.
How would I get HIV?
The usual way people come into contact with HIV is through sexual activity — semen, vaginal fluids and menstrual blood can all carry the virus in significant enough quantities to transmit it. However, infected needles shared during drug use or used for medical treatment in an affected country may also pass on the virus, as can breastmilk from an HIV-positive mother. There have been cases of HIV transmission during organ transplants or blood transfusions, though Australia screens its donors thoroughly for the HIV virus. Where pregnant women carry the HIV virus, there is a significant chance that the infant will become infected, through childbirth or through breastfeeding.
How can I avoid getting HIV?
* Whether heterosexual or gay, always use a condom when having sex.
* If you're an intravenous drug user, never share needles.
* When travelling overseas to areas where HIV is more widespread, take a pack of clean hypodermic syringes that may be used for emergency medical treatment.
* Don't share razors or any object where blood may be passed from one person to another.
* You can't get HIV from kissing, shaking hands, using public toilet seats or sitting in the same area as somebody who carries the virus.
How do I know if I have HIV?
Because HIV often manifests as a "parasitic" illness (eg. pneumonia), the symptoms may be many and varied. Often these include extreme fatigue, as the body becomes weakened and unable to fight the infection(s).
The only sure way to know if you have HIV is to have a blood test. If you have very recently had an HIV-risky experience — for example, unprotected sex — it is likely that you will be asked back in another three months for another blood test. This is because it takes that length of time for HIV to develop in sufficient quantities to be detectable in your blood.
What should I do if I have HIV?
Medical advice from a qualified practitioner should always be sought and, depending on the area in which you live, specialist treatment will probably be given. This will determine the level of medication prescribed. At the same time, counselling may be offered to help you come to terms with having the virus.
In general terms, keeping well is essential for your body to maintain its immune system. Eat a healthy, balanced diet, reduce your intake of alcohol and try not to overexert yourself through work or excessive social commitments. See your doctor for further information.
What is Injectable contraceptives: "Depo"?
What is Depot meldroxyprogesterone acetate?
Also known as Depo-Provera™ and Depo-Ravolera™ it contains a long-acting hormonal contraception called medroxyprogesterone, which is similar to the female hormone progesterone.
How is it given?
By injection by a doctor or nurse every 12 weeks.
How does it work?
"Depo"
* Stops ovulation
* Thickens the mucus at the entrance to the uterus (cervix) so that the sperm cannot get through to fertilise the egg
* Alters the lining of the uterus so any fertilised egg will not implant and grow.
Does it work?
"Depo" is almost 100 percent effective.
It should be started within 3 days of a period starting, for immediate protection. If Depo-Provera is started at any other time in your cycle, it is best to use another form of contraception for seven days.
The injections wear off after 12 weeks and there is a leeway of one week after that. If you have not had another injection in that time, it is advised that you use other forms of contraception.
What are the advantages?
* Does not interfere with sexual intercourse
* Can help to reduce endometriosis (thickening of the lining of the uterus)
* Helps reduce the incidence of uterine cancer
* Reduces the risk of thrush and pelvic inflammatory disease (an infection that can lead to infertility)
* Can be used by women who are unable to use contraception that contains oestrogen.
What are the disadvantages/side effects?
There are concerns that a woman may harm her baby by taking "Depo" when she does not realise that she is pregnant. To date, however, no serious foetal abnormalities due to the drug have been reported.
Side effects may include:
* Headaches
* Weight gain
* Irregular bleeding
* No bleeding
* Depression
* Loss of libido
* A delay in return to fertility with 60 percent of women pregnant within twelve months after stopping the drug, and 90 percent pregnant within two years.
* The main problem is that, if a side effect does occur, it may well last for the duration of the injection which is twelve weeks.
* Some evidence indicates that Depo-Provera may cause thinning of the bones. This is believed to be reversible, once the injections have stopped. Thinning of bones is of concern for young women who have been menstruating for less than three years. This period is a critical time for young women to build up their bone strength for the years ahead.
Research shows that "Depo" is significantly associated with a loss of bone mass while using the method, particularly with long term use (longer than two years), and has received a black box warning in the USA. This indicates that women and doctors, considering using or prescribing "Depo", should consider the serious side effects associated with this drug and consider alternative contraceptive choices first.
Research also indicates:
* Bone mass loss is probably reversible if women stop taking Depo.
* For young women who may not have put down their maximum stores of calcium and should still be increasing bone mass, there is a possible increase in the risk of osteoporosis in later life.
It is important to maintain bone mass through diet and exercise regardless of age of the woman using "Depo".
Also known as Depo-Provera™ and Depo-Ravolera™ it contains a long-acting hormonal contraception called medroxyprogesterone, which is similar to the female hormone progesterone.
How is it given?
By injection by a doctor or nurse every 12 weeks.
How does it work?
"Depo"
* Stops ovulation
* Thickens the mucus at the entrance to the uterus (cervix) so that the sperm cannot get through to fertilise the egg
* Alters the lining of the uterus so any fertilised egg will not implant and grow.
Does it work?
"Depo" is almost 100 percent effective.
It should be started within 3 days of a period starting, for immediate protection. If Depo-Provera is started at any other time in your cycle, it is best to use another form of contraception for seven days.
The injections wear off after 12 weeks and there is a leeway of one week after that. If you have not had another injection in that time, it is advised that you use other forms of contraception.
What are the advantages?
* Does not interfere with sexual intercourse
* Can help to reduce endometriosis (thickening of the lining of the uterus)
* Helps reduce the incidence of uterine cancer
* Reduces the risk of thrush and pelvic inflammatory disease (an infection that can lead to infertility)
* Can be used by women who are unable to use contraception that contains oestrogen.
What are the disadvantages/side effects?
There are concerns that a woman may harm her baby by taking "Depo" when she does not realise that she is pregnant. To date, however, no serious foetal abnormalities due to the drug have been reported.
Side effects may include:
* Headaches
* Weight gain
* Irregular bleeding
* No bleeding
* Depression
* Loss of libido
* A delay in return to fertility with 60 percent of women pregnant within twelve months after stopping the drug, and 90 percent pregnant within two years.
* The main problem is that, if a side effect does occur, it may well last for the duration of the injection which is twelve weeks.
* Some evidence indicates that Depo-Provera may cause thinning of the bones. This is believed to be reversible, once the injections have stopped. Thinning of bones is of concern for young women who have been menstruating for less than three years. This period is a critical time for young women to build up their bone strength for the years ahead.
Research shows that "Depo" is significantly associated with a loss of bone mass while using the method, particularly with long term use (longer than two years), and has received a black box warning in the USA. This indicates that women and doctors, considering using or prescribing "Depo", should consider the serious side effects associated with this drug and consider alternative contraceptive choices first.
Research also indicates:
* Bone mass loss is probably reversible if women stop taking Depo.
* For young women who may not have put down their maximum stores of calcium and should still be increasing bone mass, there is a possible increase in the risk of osteoporosis in later life.
It is important to maintain bone mass through diet and exercise regardless of age of the woman using "Depo".
What is female erogenous zones ?
Female Erogenous Zones
Erogenous or sexually sensitive zones are areas in the body that are supersensitive to touch. Stimulation of these areas leads to sexual arousal. They are filled with sensory nerve endings that respond to sensations such as kisses or gentle stroking.
Many women enjoy having their ears licked, sucked or kissed; the back of the neck, armpits, and wrists kissed or nuzzled; and the ribs and navel tickled gently with the tongue.
The buttocks are a very sensitive area, richly supplied with sensory nerve endings. Stroking, kissing, patting and squeezing are usually well-received. The backs of the knees, the soles of the feet and the toes can all be ticklish, and the sensation of ticklishness can be pleasant for the recipient.
The more obvious erogenous zones include:
* The lips, which respond to kissing or licking.
* The breasts are sexually very sensitive and gentle fondling, squeezing, caressing, licking and sucking of the nipples can be arousing.
* The inside of the thighs and the vulva are highly sensitive to touching, stroking and licking.
* The clitoris can be stimulated either using the tongue or finger. A partner should be guided by the woman as to the amount of pressure she enjoys.
* The G-spot may be a little difficult to find, but some women find the search worthwhile. The G-spot was identified in the 1940s by an obstetrician and gynecologist, Ernst Grafenburg. The existence of the G-spot has been controversial, but it is now accepted that in some women there is an area inside the vagina that produces intense sexual feelings when stimulated. It is located about 5 cm or 2 inches up the front wall of the vagina. Once located very gentle stimulation gives a pleasant and unusual sensation.
Erogenous or sexually sensitive zones are areas in the body that are supersensitive to touch. Stimulation of these areas leads to sexual arousal. They are filled with sensory nerve endings that respond to sensations such as kisses or gentle stroking.
Many women enjoy having their ears licked, sucked or kissed; the back of the neck, armpits, and wrists kissed or nuzzled; and the ribs and navel tickled gently with the tongue.
The buttocks are a very sensitive area, richly supplied with sensory nerve endings. Stroking, kissing, patting and squeezing are usually well-received. The backs of the knees, the soles of the feet and the toes can all be ticklish, and the sensation of ticklishness can be pleasant for the recipient.
The more obvious erogenous zones include:
* The lips, which respond to kissing or licking.
* The breasts are sexually very sensitive and gentle fondling, squeezing, caressing, licking and sucking of the nipples can be arousing.
* The inside of the thighs and the vulva are highly sensitive to touching, stroking and licking.
* The clitoris can be stimulated either using the tongue or finger. A partner should be guided by the woman as to the amount of pressure she enjoys.
* The G-spot may be a little difficult to find, but some women find the search worthwhile. The G-spot was identified in the 1940s by an obstetrician and gynecologist, Ernst Grafenburg. The existence of the G-spot has been controversial, but it is now accepted that in some women there is an area inside the vagina that produces intense sexual feelings when stimulated. It is located about 5 cm or 2 inches up the front wall of the vagina. Once located very gentle stimulation gives a pleasant and unusual sensation.
What is sexual &how do you rekindle it ?
There are exercises that individuals and couples can do to rekindle sexual desire. These exercises all involve gentle touching and caressing and exploration of each other's bodies
To begin, talk about your sexual inhibitions, feelings, anxieties and expectations then ask your partner to agree that penetrative sex will not be an issue for a while. On your own, gently touch and stroke your naked body - lightly massage and caress yourself - perhaps in a warm shower, bath, in bed or on a soft rug, using a water-based lubricant, or body lotion, or soap lather or your own saliva. Think about your sexual feelings - 'listen' with your emotions as your fingers gently touch each part of your body, concentrate on your 'self' and what feelings (emotional and physical) arouse and stimulate you.
When you've become confident about self-stimulation and massage, try these techniques with your partner. Find the right time and place for the exploration to begin - use massage oil, lotion and lubricants if you wish - start slowly and sensuously with no goal other than relaxation, 'two-ness' and feeling good. Recall from your own self-stimulation what touches and caresses aroused or relaxed you and ask your partner to try them. Gently massage, touch and explore your partner's body - find out what stimulates or relaxes your partner, remember to go slowly.
Unless you both feel so inclined, avoid touching each other's genitals, you're aiming to re-acquaint yourself with your partner's body - the pressure of sex (whether from you or your partner) must not be an issue. Don't pressure, or be pressured by your partner to take these exercises too quickly. When you're both ready, start to touch and caress each other's genitals, softly and in tune with what you both desire - and remember to tell each other what is and what isn't a turn-on.
These exercises should continue for as long as it takes both partners to feel confident about having sex together - but remembering that penetration should not necessarily be the goal of each and every sexual encounter.
To begin, talk about your sexual inhibitions, feelings, anxieties and expectations then ask your partner to agree that penetrative sex will not be an issue for a while. On your own, gently touch and stroke your naked body - lightly massage and caress yourself - perhaps in a warm shower, bath, in bed or on a soft rug, using a water-based lubricant, or body lotion, or soap lather or your own saliva. Think about your sexual feelings - 'listen' with your emotions as your fingers gently touch each part of your body, concentrate on your 'self' and what feelings (emotional and physical) arouse and stimulate you.
When you've become confident about self-stimulation and massage, try these techniques with your partner. Find the right time and place for the exploration to begin - use massage oil, lotion and lubricants if you wish - start slowly and sensuously with no goal other than relaxation, 'two-ness' and feeling good. Recall from your own self-stimulation what touches and caresses aroused or relaxed you and ask your partner to try them. Gently massage, touch and explore your partner's body - find out what stimulates or relaxes your partner, remember to go slowly.
Unless you both feel so inclined, avoid touching each other's genitals, you're aiming to re-acquaint yourself with your partner's body - the pressure of sex (whether from you or your partner) must not be an issue. Don't pressure, or be pressured by your partner to take these exercises too quickly. When you're both ready, start to touch and caress each other's genitals, softly and in tune with what you both desire - and remember to tell each other what is and what isn't a turn-on.
These exercises should continue for as long as it takes both partners to feel confident about having sex together - but remembering that penetration should not necessarily be the goal of each and every sexual encounter.
What is sexual health frequently asked questions ?
What is masturbation and is it OK to do it?
Masturbation is when a man or a woman stimulates their own genitals. It is a natural way to explore your own sexual urges and desires and masturbating allows you to learn about your body. There are no medical or health consequences associated with masturbating, however care should be taken if using sex toys.
Never share sex toys without first thoroughly cleaning them or using a condom. Some religions forbid it, but masturbation is generally regarded as a normal activity.
How can you tell if someone has a STD?
It is often not possible to tell if someone has an STD. Sometimes you may see sores or warts around the genital area, but not everyone has these signs. Most people pass on STDs without knowing that they are infected, so it is advisable to use a condom everytime you have sexual intercourse. Sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV or chlamydia do not show any visible signs in the early stages, and a test is the only way of identifying infection.
Can you get pregnant by swallowing semen?
Semen contains millions of sperm which, in order to fertilise an egg, have to travel up the vagina, through the cervix and uterus to the awaiting egg in the fallopian tubes. The egg cannot be fertilised by semen that has travelled down the throat.
How do you know if you are pregnant?
A woman can fall pregnant by having unprotected intercourse or having a man ejaculate near the vaginal opening. Missing a menstrual period is usually the first sign of pregnancy. But some women may have a period that is shorter, with less bleeding, than normal. If a period is missed or is unusual, pregnancy is possible.
Other signs of pregnancy include: tender breasts, the need to urinate more than normal, nausea (not restricted to mornings) tiredness and an increase in weight. If pregnancy is suspected, it should be checked by a doctor, a family planning clinic or with a home pregnancy test. The only way to be sure you are pregnant is to have a proper test.
What is a head job?
A head job or blow job are slang terms for oral sex or fellatio. Oral sex is when the mouth, tongue and lips are used to suck and caress the penis until orgasm is reached. There is some debate about the likelihood of contracting HIV from oral sex, so to be totally sure always use a condom. The risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is generally considered to be very low.
What is an erection?
An erection occurs when a man is sexually aroused or 'turned on' either by physical or visual stimulation. During this stimulation the penis becomes rigid as blood rushes to the genital area and fills the erectile tissues. When boys are going through puberty they can experience erections caused by nothing more than overactive hormones.
How do you lose your virginity?
Having sexual intercourse is the only way of losing your virginity. In girls, the traditional symbol of virginity is the unbroken hymen. The hymen is the membrane that covers part of the inside of the vagina. Not all girls are born with a hymen. Apart from intercourse the hymen can be broken by using tampons, or in some sports such as horse riding or cycling. Many women are unaware of ever having a hymen - they were either not born with one, or it broke when they were very young.
What does frigid mean?
Frigid is a word that is used to describe someone who doesn't like or doesn't want to have sex. It is often used to pressure a person into having sex by making them feel abnormal. Saying no to sex is not abnormal and nobody should be pressured into having sex because friends do it or because someone might call you frigid if you don't agree to it.
Do all women have orgasms?
No, there are some women, who, because of physical or emotional problems never have an orgasm. Most women find it difficult to orgasm purely by vaginal stimulation during intercourse. Clitoral stimulation is the most successful way for most women to experience an orgasm. Problems having an orgasm are treatable so if you think you have a problem seek help.
Why does my vagina smell?
The vagina is self-cleansing, the normal bacteria that live inside it produce lactic acid. This acid environment keeps the vagina healthy. At certain times of a woman's cycle the secretions may have a slightly stronger odour. This is normal and natural, however if the odour becomes stronger than usual an infection or STD may be present so medical advice should be sought. Vaginal deodorants are not advised as they can affect the balance within the vagina and cause infections. The vulva and vaginal opening should be washed daily with a mild soap.
Is it OK to have sex during my period?
There is no medical reason why you shouldn't have sex during menstruation. Some people don't like sex while menstruating, others do. It's purely a personal preference. A condom should always be used because you can still fall pregnant during your period and the transmission of HIV through menstrual blood is possible.
Why does my vagina sometimes get wet when I kiss my boyfriend?
Just as men have a sexual response to stimuli with an erection, women have a message sent to their genitals to prepare for sex. The wetness is the vagina producing a lubricant in readiness for intercourse.
If you don't have sex can you still get AIDS?
There are two major causes of HIV infection:
1. Vaginal or anal intercourse, or oral-genital contact with an HIV infected person.
2. Sharing a hypodermic needle or syringe with an HIV infected person.
HIV can also be transmitted from a mother to her baby during pregnancy, childbirth or while breast-feeding. Prior to 1985 and the introduction of compulsory screening of all blood products, HIV could be transmitted through medical procedures that involved exchanging blood or blood products or semen, such as transfusions, organ transplants or sperm donation.
Four events must take place before a person can become infected with HIV:
1. HIV must leave the body of an infected person.
2. HIV must survive in the environment outside the person's body. It is a fragile virus and cannot survive outside a human cell for much more than 4 hours under ideal conditions. HIV is also destroyed by bleach, soap and other disinfectants.
3. HIV must enter the bloodstream of another person - either by being pushed into an opening or injected directly. This entry is made easier if tiny cuts, sores or abrasions or inflammation caused from infections like STDs are present on parts of the skin.
4. There has to be a sufficient quantity of HIV to cause infection. The only body fluids that can carry enough HIV to cause infection are: blood (and blood products like pus), semen, pre-cum, vaginal secretions or breast milk. The smallest amount of these fluids can cause infection.
Body fluids that may contain small amounts of HIV but not enough to cause infection are:
* saliva
* urine
* faeces
* vomit
* tears
* sweat
What does it feel like to have sex?
Having sex for the first time may leave you disappointed, and may make you feel that it is all a little over rated. Apart from the clumsiness and embarrassment, there may be a little discomfort and some bleeding for the girl. This is normal if the hymen is broken during penetration. The subsequent experiences should be enjoyable as long as both of you are ready for it and have discussed the impact it will have on your lives and your relationship.
How do you use a condom?
Putting on a condom can be fun and could play a part in foreplay. Before using condoms always check the use-by date on the packet as latex deteriorates. The penis must be erect before a condom can be put on. Squeeze the air out of the teat at the end of the condom to allow space for the semen and gently roll the condom down over the penis. Be sure to roll it as far as it will go. Only use water-based lubricants with condoms. Oil-based lubricants can weaken the rubber which can lead to the condom splitting or tearing.
After ejaculation withdraw the penis before the erection is lost, holding the rim of the condom to the base of the penis to ensure no semen escapes before withdrawal and the condom does not slip off in the vagina. Take the condom off and be careful not to spill any of the semen. Tie a knot at the top. Never dispose of the condom in the toilet, throw it in the bin. If used correctly and everytime you have intercourse condoms are 99% effective.
Should you have a pap smear if you have sex?
Yes. A pap smear should be taken every two years once you have had intercourse. The first smear should be taken about two years after the first intercourse. Early detection of cancerous or pre-cancerous cells can save your life because early detection is critical to effective treatment. Cervical cancer is the sixth most common cancer in Australian women. Condoms may reduce the risk of cervical cancer by eliminating the transmission of STDs which may be one of the factors which cause abnormalities in the cells of the cervix.
My penis doesn't hang straight and it has a slight curve to the right. Is this normal?
It is quite normal for a man's penis to hang to one side, and the slight curve should be of no concern. If you have a chronic bend when your penis is erect, however, you should talk to your doctor and perhaps a urologist.
One of my testicles hangs lower than the other. Is there something wrong with me?
This is quite normal and there is nothing wrong with you. If you find any lumps or swelling in your testicles see your doctor as soon as possible.
When I have sex with my girlfriend I sometimes lose my erection. Do I have a problem? It is important to discuss this problem with your girlfriend and you may find that this is not as big an issue with her as it is with you. Performance anxiety can have a lot to do with this problem and once you realise that you are both pleasuring each other enough, the rest will happen naturally. If this really does become a problem see a doctor. Erection difficulties can be effectively treated so seek help.
How do I persuade my partner to perform oral sex on me?
If your partner is uncomfortable with performing oral sex, you should discuss the reasons. If they have a problem with hygiene assure them that there are more germs in the mouth than on the vagina or penis. Discuss what you both like or dislike and don't feel pressured into doing something you do not want to. If your partner is not interested in performing oral sex, enjoy the many other pleasures you can share together.
How do you insert a tampon?
Make sure that you wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon. Remove the wrapper and handle the tampon as little as possible. There are a few different positions that can be used for easy insertion, you may need to try which suits you best. You can sit, squat or put one foot up on a chair or toilet - remember that in these positions the vagina slopes backwards at about 30 degrees so the tampon needs to be angled to follow the back wall of the vagina. The position needs to allow for the easiest angle to push the tampon into the vagina. Hold onto the base of the tampon and the string and gently push it into the vagina as far as it will go. It is impossible for the tampon to go too far or get lost. If it is difficult to push the tampon in use a little lubricant on the end. There may be some pressure on insertion - this is caused by the muscles that will hold the tampon in place. You will know your tampon is ready to change when you pull lightly on the string and feel the tampon dislodges easily. However never leave a tampon in position for more than about 4 hours. It is recommended that a sanitary pad be used at night instead of a tampon.
Is anal sex a good idea? Unprotected anal sex is one of the high risk behaviors associated with HIV/AIDS. The anus has a more fragile lining than the vagina that can tear very easily. If infected semen or blood enter the body here the chance of contracting HIV is extremely high. Use of a condom whenever performing anal sex is vital.
Can a man control his erection?
A man can have an erection by thinking of or seeing something that stimulates him. He can also be turned off by an outside distraction or thought, thus losing his erection. Boys going through puberty who have overactive hormones sometimes have no control on where, when or why they may have an erection. It's not necessary to ejaculate to make an erection go away.
Is it safe to have sex with an uncircumcised man?
Whether a man is circumcised or not makes no difference to whether sex is safe or not. The only way to have safe sex is to use a condom.
Do condoms make a difference to how sex feels?
Some men say that condoms reduce the sensitivity of the penis. Some women find the dryness of a condom uncomfortable. Both of these problems can be overcome by using lubricant on the inside of the teat of the condom and over the outside of the condom to reduce friction. The level of pleasure is only reduced slightly by using a condom.
Masturbation is when a man or a woman stimulates their own genitals. It is a natural way to explore your own sexual urges and desires and masturbating allows you to learn about your body. There are no medical or health consequences associated with masturbating, however care should be taken if using sex toys.
Never share sex toys without first thoroughly cleaning them or using a condom. Some religions forbid it, but masturbation is generally regarded as a normal activity.
How can you tell if someone has a STD?
It is often not possible to tell if someone has an STD. Sometimes you may see sores or warts around the genital area, but not everyone has these signs. Most people pass on STDs without knowing that they are infected, so it is advisable to use a condom everytime you have sexual intercourse. Sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV or chlamydia do not show any visible signs in the early stages, and a test is the only way of identifying infection.
Can you get pregnant by swallowing semen?
Semen contains millions of sperm which, in order to fertilise an egg, have to travel up the vagina, through the cervix and uterus to the awaiting egg in the fallopian tubes. The egg cannot be fertilised by semen that has travelled down the throat.
How do you know if you are pregnant?
A woman can fall pregnant by having unprotected intercourse or having a man ejaculate near the vaginal opening. Missing a menstrual period is usually the first sign of pregnancy. But some women may have a period that is shorter, with less bleeding, than normal. If a period is missed or is unusual, pregnancy is possible.
Other signs of pregnancy include: tender breasts, the need to urinate more than normal, nausea (not restricted to mornings) tiredness and an increase in weight. If pregnancy is suspected, it should be checked by a doctor, a family planning clinic or with a home pregnancy test. The only way to be sure you are pregnant is to have a proper test.
What is a head job?
A head job or blow job are slang terms for oral sex or fellatio. Oral sex is when the mouth, tongue and lips are used to suck and caress the penis until orgasm is reached. There is some debate about the likelihood of contracting HIV from oral sex, so to be totally sure always use a condom. The risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is generally considered to be very low.
What is an erection?
An erection occurs when a man is sexually aroused or 'turned on' either by physical or visual stimulation. During this stimulation the penis becomes rigid as blood rushes to the genital area and fills the erectile tissues. When boys are going through puberty they can experience erections caused by nothing more than overactive hormones.
How do you lose your virginity?
Having sexual intercourse is the only way of losing your virginity. In girls, the traditional symbol of virginity is the unbroken hymen. The hymen is the membrane that covers part of the inside of the vagina. Not all girls are born with a hymen. Apart from intercourse the hymen can be broken by using tampons, or in some sports such as horse riding or cycling. Many women are unaware of ever having a hymen - they were either not born with one, or it broke when they were very young.
What does frigid mean?
Frigid is a word that is used to describe someone who doesn't like or doesn't want to have sex. It is often used to pressure a person into having sex by making them feel abnormal. Saying no to sex is not abnormal and nobody should be pressured into having sex because friends do it or because someone might call you frigid if you don't agree to it.
Do all women have orgasms?
No, there are some women, who, because of physical or emotional problems never have an orgasm. Most women find it difficult to orgasm purely by vaginal stimulation during intercourse. Clitoral stimulation is the most successful way for most women to experience an orgasm. Problems having an orgasm are treatable so if you think you have a problem seek help.
Why does my vagina smell?
The vagina is self-cleansing, the normal bacteria that live inside it produce lactic acid. This acid environment keeps the vagina healthy. At certain times of a woman's cycle the secretions may have a slightly stronger odour. This is normal and natural, however if the odour becomes stronger than usual an infection or STD may be present so medical advice should be sought. Vaginal deodorants are not advised as they can affect the balance within the vagina and cause infections. The vulva and vaginal opening should be washed daily with a mild soap.
Is it OK to have sex during my period?
There is no medical reason why you shouldn't have sex during menstruation. Some people don't like sex while menstruating, others do. It's purely a personal preference. A condom should always be used because you can still fall pregnant during your period and the transmission of HIV through menstrual blood is possible.
Why does my vagina sometimes get wet when I kiss my boyfriend?
Just as men have a sexual response to stimuli with an erection, women have a message sent to their genitals to prepare for sex. The wetness is the vagina producing a lubricant in readiness for intercourse.
If you don't have sex can you still get AIDS?
There are two major causes of HIV infection:
1. Vaginal or anal intercourse, or oral-genital contact with an HIV infected person.
2. Sharing a hypodermic needle or syringe with an HIV infected person.
HIV can also be transmitted from a mother to her baby during pregnancy, childbirth or while breast-feeding. Prior to 1985 and the introduction of compulsory screening of all blood products, HIV could be transmitted through medical procedures that involved exchanging blood or blood products or semen, such as transfusions, organ transplants or sperm donation.
Four events must take place before a person can become infected with HIV:
1. HIV must leave the body of an infected person.
2. HIV must survive in the environment outside the person's body. It is a fragile virus and cannot survive outside a human cell for much more than 4 hours under ideal conditions. HIV is also destroyed by bleach, soap and other disinfectants.
3. HIV must enter the bloodstream of another person - either by being pushed into an opening or injected directly. This entry is made easier if tiny cuts, sores or abrasions or inflammation caused from infections like STDs are present on parts of the skin.
4. There has to be a sufficient quantity of HIV to cause infection. The only body fluids that can carry enough HIV to cause infection are: blood (and blood products like pus), semen, pre-cum, vaginal secretions or breast milk. The smallest amount of these fluids can cause infection.
Body fluids that may contain small amounts of HIV but not enough to cause infection are:
* saliva
* urine
* faeces
* vomit
* tears
* sweat
What does it feel like to have sex?
Having sex for the first time may leave you disappointed, and may make you feel that it is all a little over rated. Apart from the clumsiness and embarrassment, there may be a little discomfort and some bleeding for the girl. This is normal if the hymen is broken during penetration. The subsequent experiences should be enjoyable as long as both of you are ready for it and have discussed the impact it will have on your lives and your relationship.
How do you use a condom?
Putting on a condom can be fun and could play a part in foreplay. Before using condoms always check the use-by date on the packet as latex deteriorates. The penis must be erect before a condom can be put on. Squeeze the air out of the teat at the end of the condom to allow space for the semen and gently roll the condom down over the penis. Be sure to roll it as far as it will go. Only use water-based lubricants with condoms. Oil-based lubricants can weaken the rubber which can lead to the condom splitting or tearing.
After ejaculation withdraw the penis before the erection is lost, holding the rim of the condom to the base of the penis to ensure no semen escapes before withdrawal and the condom does not slip off in the vagina. Take the condom off and be careful not to spill any of the semen. Tie a knot at the top. Never dispose of the condom in the toilet, throw it in the bin. If used correctly and everytime you have intercourse condoms are 99% effective.
Should you have a pap smear if you have sex?
Yes. A pap smear should be taken every two years once you have had intercourse. The first smear should be taken about two years after the first intercourse. Early detection of cancerous or pre-cancerous cells can save your life because early detection is critical to effective treatment. Cervical cancer is the sixth most common cancer in Australian women. Condoms may reduce the risk of cervical cancer by eliminating the transmission of STDs which may be one of the factors which cause abnormalities in the cells of the cervix.
My penis doesn't hang straight and it has a slight curve to the right. Is this normal?
It is quite normal for a man's penis to hang to one side, and the slight curve should be of no concern. If you have a chronic bend when your penis is erect, however, you should talk to your doctor and perhaps a urologist.
One of my testicles hangs lower than the other. Is there something wrong with me?
This is quite normal and there is nothing wrong with you. If you find any lumps or swelling in your testicles see your doctor as soon as possible.
When I have sex with my girlfriend I sometimes lose my erection. Do I have a problem? It is important to discuss this problem with your girlfriend and you may find that this is not as big an issue with her as it is with you. Performance anxiety can have a lot to do with this problem and once you realise that you are both pleasuring each other enough, the rest will happen naturally. If this really does become a problem see a doctor. Erection difficulties can be effectively treated so seek help.
How do I persuade my partner to perform oral sex on me?
If your partner is uncomfortable with performing oral sex, you should discuss the reasons. If they have a problem with hygiene assure them that there are more germs in the mouth than on the vagina or penis. Discuss what you both like or dislike and don't feel pressured into doing something you do not want to. If your partner is not interested in performing oral sex, enjoy the many other pleasures you can share together.
How do you insert a tampon?
Make sure that you wash your hands before and after inserting a tampon. Remove the wrapper and handle the tampon as little as possible. There are a few different positions that can be used for easy insertion, you may need to try which suits you best. You can sit, squat or put one foot up on a chair or toilet - remember that in these positions the vagina slopes backwards at about 30 degrees so the tampon needs to be angled to follow the back wall of the vagina. The position needs to allow for the easiest angle to push the tampon into the vagina. Hold onto the base of the tampon and the string and gently push it into the vagina as far as it will go. It is impossible for the tampon to go too far or get lost. If it is difficult to push the tampon in use a little lubricant on the end. There may be some pressure on insertion - this is caused by the muscles that will hold the tampon in place. You will know your tampon is ready to change when you pull lightly on the string and feel the tampon dislodges easily. However never leave a tampon in position for more than about 4 hours. It is recommended that a sanitary pad be used at night instead of a tampon.
Is anal sex a good idea? Unprotected anal sex is one of the high risk behaviors associated with HIV/AIDS. The anus has a more fragile lining than the vagina that can tear very easily. If infected semen or blood enter the body here the chance of contracting HIV is extremely high. Use of a condom whenever performing anal sex is vital.
Can a man control his erection?
A man can have an erection by thinking of or seeing something that stimulates him. He can also be turned off by an outside distraction or thought, thus losing his erection. Boys going through puberty who have overactive hormones sometimes have no control on where, when or why they may have an erection. It's not necessary to ejaculate to make an erection go away.
Is it safe to have sex with an uncircumcised man?
Whether a man is circumcised or not makes no difference to whether sex is safe or not. The only way to have safe sex is to use a condom.
Do condoms make a difference to how sex feels?
Some men say that condoms reduce the sensitivity of the penis. Some women find the dryness of a condom uncomfortable. Both of these problems can be overcome by using lubricant on the inside of the teat of the condom and over the outside of the condom to reduce friction. The level of pleasure is only reduced slightly by using a condom.
What is Retarded Ejaculation?
Some men have difficulty ejaculating (coming) or cannot ejaculate. Delayed or retarded ejaculation happens more often with intercourse and less often with masturbation. It can occur occasionally and may not be an ongoing problem. For example, after an excessive intake of alcohol a man may have difficulty coming. With some men, delayed ejaculation happens nearly every time they have sexual intercourse and is of concern.
Delayed ejaculation may be a physical problem or may be a side-effect of a medication, but more often, delayed ejaculation is caused by other factors.
The problem may be physical or may be a side-effect of a medication, in which case a medical practitioner should be consulted. More often, delayed ejaculation is caused by other factors. Some men, whose sexual stimulation most often derives from masturbation, cannot achieve the same pleasure from intercourse - the feeling is 'different', unfamiliar or not as strong.
Anxiety or embarrassment related to sexual 'performance'. Tension, anger or disappointment associated with your partner and/or relationship.
The practice of withholding ejaculation as a form of (unreliable) contraception.
Fear of injuring your partner or making a female partner pregnant during intercourse.
Childhood experiences or environment where a boy might routinely withhold ejaculations:
A strict home, where masturbation was frowned upon.
Religious or cultural background.
Experiences of sexual abuse.
Delayed ejaculation may be a physical problem or may be a side-effect of a medication, but more often, delayed ejaculation is caused by other factors.
The problem may be physical or may be a side-effect of a medication, in which case a medical practitioner should be consulted. More often, delayed ejaculation is caused by other factors. Some men, whose sexual stimulation most often derives from masturbation, cannot achieve the same pleasure from intercourse - the feeling is 'different', unfamiliar or not as strong.
Anxiety or embarrassment related to sexual 'performance'. Tension, anger or disappointment associated with your partner and/or relationship.
The practice of withholding ejaculation as a form of (unreliable) contraception.
Fear of injuring your partner or making a female partner pregnant during intercourse.
Childhood experiences or environment where a boy might routinely withhold ejaculations:
A strict home, where masturbation was frowned upon.
Religious or cultural background.
Experiences of sexual abuse.
What is orgasm difficulty ?
Don't think obsessively about having an orgasm, enjoy the full sexual experience, touching, cuddling, caressing and discuss with each other what turns each person on.
First up, don't think obsessively about having an orgasm - don't set out in each and every sexual encounter to have an orgasm; enjoy the total, sensual sexual experience: cuddling, caressing, massage, foreplay, mutual masturbation, the full exploration of each other's body. Men should make sure they are doing enough to arouse - and to keep aroused - their partner. Couples should discuss what turns on each person.
Remember, what appeals to one, doesn't appeal to another, for example, some people like their nipples touched or even pinched, others don't.
Try to have sex when you are both ready - not too tired, not angry, not ill - you both have to be in the mood.
Most women need and enjoy direct clitoral stimulation during sex and are more likely to have an orgasm if this occurs. Clitoral stimulation can be done by the woman herself or her partner - just by gently touching and stroking the clitoris before or during intercourse - this is a perfectly normal way of helping induce a woman's orgasm.
Don't strive for simultaneous orgasms - enjoy your partner's orgasm by watching and helping him or her come to a climax, then let them share your pleasure when you reach orgasm.
First up, don't think obsessively about having an orgasm - don't set out in each and every sexual encounter to have an orgasm; enjoy the total, sensual sexual experience: cuddling, caressing, massage, foreplay, mutual masturbation, the full exploration of each other's body. Men should make sure they are doing enough to arouse - and to keep aroused - their partner. Couples should discuss what turns on each person.
Remember, what appeals to one, doesn't appeal to another, for example, some people like their nipples touched or even pinched, others don't.
Try to have sex when you are both ready - not too tired, not angry, not ill - you both have to be in the mood.
Most women need and enjoy direct clitoral stimulation during sex and are more likely to have an orgasm if this occurs. Clitoral stimulation can be done by the woman herself or her partner - just by gently touching and stroking the clitoris before or during intercourse - this is a perfectly normal way of helping induce a woman's orgasm.
Don't strive for simultaneous orgasms - enjoy your partner's orgasm by watching and helping him or her come to a climax, then let them share your pleasure when you reach orgasm.
What is impotency & its causes ?
What causes impotence?
Most men experience a failed erection at some time in their lives, but if you find that you can’t achieve and maintain an erection in at least 3 out of 4 attempts, you should ask your doctor about impotence.
Impotence, also known as erectile dysfunction or ED, is a condition in which a man is unable to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to have a satisfactory sex life.
In the past, doctors considered impotence to be a mainly psychological problem, caused by performance anxiety or stress. Now, however, doctors know that most cases of impotence have a physical cause, which can be treated. In fact, according to Impotence Australia, physical causes contribute to about 75 per cent of cases of impotence.
Physical causes of impotence include damage to the arteries and veins that allow blood to flow into and out of the penis, and damage to the nerves that send signals from the body’s central nervous system to the penis. This damage can have several causes.
PHYSICAL CAUSES OF IMPOTENCE
Impaired blood flow to the penis
A very common cause of impotence is when blood flow to the penis is impaired due to atherosclerosis, also known as hardening of the arteries. In atherosclerosis, the arteries are clogged and narrowed, resulting in reduced blood flow. This narrowing of the arteries can be caused by conditions such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease or diabetes, as well as by smoking.
Impotence can also be caused by a blood clot that prevents enough blood from flowing into the penis to cause an erection.
Impaired blood flow out of the penis
In some men, blood can flow in to the penis easily, but the problem is that it leaks out again, so an erection cannot be sustained. This is called venous leakage. Doctors aren’t certain of the cause of venous leakage, but they can perform surgery to help repair it.
Medications
Some medications can cause erection problems as a side effect, including: diuretics; high blood pressure medications; cholesterol-lowering drugs; diabetes medications; antidepressants; cancer treatments; non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs); and epilepsy medications.
If you experience impotence after starting a new medication, tell your doctor, who may be able to prescribe a different medicine for you. You should also tell your doctor about any over-the-counter medicines or complementary remedies you may be taking.
Diabetes
Both forms of diabetes, Type 1 (insulin-dependent) and Type 2 (non-insulin-dependent), are common causes of impotence: men who have diabetes are 3 times more likely to have impotence than other men. Diabetes contributes to impotence because it can damage blood vessels and cause a type of nerve damage known as peripheral neuropathy.
Prostate cancer
The advanced stages of prostate cancer can affect the nerves and arteries that are vital for an erection. Radiation treatment for prostate cancer can harm the erectile tissues of the penis, and surgery can cause nerve or artery damage to the penis.
Peyronie’s disease
Peyronie’s disease is an uncommon condition that affects a man’s sex life because his penis curves abnormally and causes pain when he has an erection. He might also be unable to have a hard erection. The curvature of the penis is caused by a scar, called a plaque, that forms in the penis.
Prostatitis
Prostatitis is a condition in which the prostate gland becomes inflamed, due to a bacterial infection. This results in painful and more frequent urination and sometimes a fever, as well as pain on ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. The infection can be treated with antibiotics.
Diseases of the nervous system
Multiple sclerosis (MS) and Parkinson’s disease are degenerative diseases of the nervous system, which can impair the nerves involved in erections.
Depression
Many men find that when they’re suffering from depression, they can’t get or keep an erection. Asking your doctor for treatments for depression may help alleviate your erection problems as well.
Hormones
Low levels of the male hormone, testosterone, are more commonly linked to a lowered sex drive, rather than impotence itself. Only about 2 per cent of cases of impotence are caused by hormone deficiency.
Low testosterone levels may be the result of a condition called hypogonadism, in which the testicles don’t produce enough testosterone, or, more rarely, because a tumour on the pituitary gland at the base of the brain has caused an abnormally high level of prolactin, a hormone that can lower testosterone levels.
Injury and accidents
Impotence can be caused by spinal cord injury; injury to your sex organs; or a pelvic fracture, which can cause damage the nerves to the penis, and damage the blood vessels, resulting in impairment of blood flow to the penis.
Surgery
Surgery to organs near the nerve pathways of the penis, such as the bladder, rectum and prostate, can cause nerve or artery damage to the penis, resulting in the inability to have an erection.
Smoking
Smoking contributes to vascular disease, so it can contribute to erectile dysfunction by affecting blood flow to the penis.
Excessive alcohol use
Alcoholism can cause permanent nerve damage, resulting in impotence. This nerve damage is called peripheral neuropathy. Long-term alcohol use can impair the liver’s ability to function, resulting in a hormone imbalance in which a man has too much of the female sex hormone, oestrogen. On a day-to-day level, alcohol dulls the central nervous system, impairing sexual response.
Illicit drug use
Illicit drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin, barbiturates, and amphetamines act on the central nervous system, impairing the body’s ability to respond sexually.
Prolonged exercise
Nerve and artery damage can be caused by cycling too hard or prolonged use of a rowing machine, resulting in the inability to get an erection. Often, minimising the use of hard bicycle seats and exercise machine seats will help restore sexual function.
PSYCHOLOGICAL CAUSES OF IMPOTENCE
Most cases of impotence have physical causes, but, in some men, psychological factors are the main contributors to impotence. Impotence that’s triggered by psychological factors is more likely to appear suddenly, and perhaps when you’re with just one particular person, than impotence that has a physical cause. You’re also more likely to have morning erections, and be able to have an erection when you masturbate, than men whose impotence has a physical cause. Here are some psychological factors that can have an impact on your erections.
Stress and anxiety
When you’re stressed and focusing on other issues apart from sex, you might find that you don’t want to have sex as often and there might be a drop in your ability to perform when you do try. You might find that tackling the source of your stress can have benefits in the bedroom as well.
Fear of failure
Anxiety about your sexual prowess (commonly called performance anxiety) can, in itself, contribute to failure. By putting pressure on yourself, you become too anxious to get an adequate erection.
Problems with your relationship
Impotence may be a manifestation of a poor relationship, or a problematic time in a relationship. Sexual boredom, tension or anger among partners, and lack of intimacy and communication are all possible triggers of erectile dysfunction. In these cases, seeing a counsellor may help.
It’s worth remembering that impotence is a complex medical condition, which may have more than one cause. For example, if impotence is the result of a side effect of medication or an underlying disease, the anxiety caused by lack of performance may perpetuate the erectile dysfunction even after the physical cause has been tackled.
If you’re worried about your sexual response or the quality of your erections, don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor, who has access to treatments that can help.
Most men experience a failed erection at some time in their lives, but if you find that you can’t achieve and maintain an erection in at least 3 out of 4 attempts, you should ask your doctor about impotence.
Impotence, also known as erectile dysfunction or ED, is a condition in which a man is unable to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to have a satisfactory sex life.
In the past, doctors considered impotence to be a mainly psychological problem, caused by performance anxiety or stress. Now, however, doctors know that most cases of impotence have a physical cause, which can be treated. In fact, according to Impotence Australia, physical causes contribute to about 75 per cent of cases of impotence.
Physical causes of impotence include damage to the arteries and veins that allow blood to flow into and out of the penis, and damage to the nerves that send signals from the body’s central nervous system to the penis. This damage can have several causes.
PHYSICAL CAUSES OF IMPOTENCE
Impaired blood flow to the penis
A very common cause of impotence is when blood flow to the penis is impaired due to atherosclerosis, also known as hardening of the arteries. In atherosclerosis, the arteries are clogged and narrowed, resulting in reduced blood flow. This narrowing of the arteries can be caused by conditions such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease or diabetes, as well as by smoking.
Impotence can also be caused by a blood clot that prevents enough blood from flowing into the penis to cause an erection.
Impaired blood flow out of the penis
In some men, blood can flow in to the penis easily, but the problem is that it leaks out again, so an erection cannot be sustained. This is called venous leakage. Doctors aren’t certain of the cause of venous leakage, but they can perform surgery to help repair it.
Medications
Some medications can cause erection problems as a side effect, including: diuretics; high blood pressure medications; cholesterol-lowering drugs; diabetes medications; antidepressants; cancer treatments; non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs); and epilepsy medications.
If you experience impotence after starting a new medication, tell your doctor, who may be able to prescribe a different medicine for you. You should also tell your doctor about any over-the-counter medicines or complementary remedies you may be taking.
Diabetes
Both forms of diabetes, Type 1 (insulin-dependent) and Type 2 (non-insulin-dependent), are common causes of impotence: men who have diabetes are 3 times more likely to have impotence than other men. Diabetes contributes to impotence because it can damage blood vessels and cause a type of nerve damage known as peripheral neuropathy.
Prostate cancer
The advanced stages of prostate cancer can affect the nerves and arteries that are vital for an erection. Radiation treatment for prostate cancer can harm the erectile tissues of the penis, and surgery can cause nerve or artery damage to the penis.
Peyronie’s disease
Peyronie’s disease is an uncommon condition that affects a man’s sex life because his penis curves abnormally and causes pain when he has an erection. He might also be unable to have a hard erection. The curvature of the penis is caused by a scar, called a plaque, that forms in the penis.
Prostatitis
Prostatitis is a condition in which the prostate gland becomes inflamed, due to a bacterial infection. This results in painful and more frequent urination and sometimes a fever, as well as pain on ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. The infection can be treated with antibiotics.
Diseases of the nervous system
Multiple sclerosis (MS) and Parkinson’s disease are degenerative diseases of the nervous system, which can impair the nerves involved in erections.
Depression
Many men find that when they’re suffering from depression, they can’t get or keep an erection. Asking your doctor for treatments for depression may help alleviate your erection problems as well.
Hormones
Low levels of the male hormone, testosterone, are more commonly linked to a lowered sex drive, rather than impotence itself. Only about 2 per cent of cases of impotence are caused by hormone deficiency.
Low testosterone levels may be the result of a condition called hypogonadism, in which the testicles don’t produce enough testosterone, or, more rarely, because a tumour on the pituitary gland at the base of the brain has caused an abnormally high level of prolactin, a hormone that can lower testosterone levels.
Injury and accidents
Impotence can be caused by spinal cord injury; injury to your sex organs; or a pelvic fracture, which can cause damage the nerves to the penis, and damage the blood vessels, resulting in impairment of blood flow to the penis.
Surgery
Surgery to organs near the nerve pathways of the penis, such as the bladder, rectum and prostate, can cause nerve or artery damage to the penis, resulting in the inability to have an erection.
Smoking
Smoking contributes to vascular disease, so it can contribute to erectile dysfunction by affecting blood flow to the penis.
Excessive alcohol use
Alcoholism can cause permanent nerve damage, resulting in impotence. This nerve damage is called peripheral neuropathy. Long-term alcohol use can impair the liver’s ability to function, resulting in a hormone imbalance in which a man has too much of the female sex hormone, oestrogen. On a day-to-day level, alcohol dulls the central nervous system, impairing sexual response.
Illicit drug use
Illicit drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, heroin, barbiturates, and amphetamines act on the central nervous system, impairing the body’s ability to respond sexually.
Prolonged exercise
Nerve and artery damage can be caused by cycling too hard or prolonged use of a rowing machine, resulting in the inability to get an erection. Often, minimising the use of hard bicycle seats and exercise machine seats will help restore sexual function.
PSYCHOLOGICAL CAUSES OF IMPOTENCE
Most cases of impotence have physical causes, but, in some men, psychological factors are the main contributors to impotence. Impotence that’s triggered by psychological factors is more likely to appear suddenly, and perhaps when you’re with just one particular person, than impotence that has a physical cause. You’re also more likely to have morning erections, and be able to have an erection when you masturbate, than men whose impotence has a physical cause. Here are some psychological factors that can have an impact on your erections.
Stress and anxiety
When you’re stressed and focusing on other issues apart from sex, you might find that you don’t want to have sex as often and there might be a drop in your ability to perform when you do try. You might find that tackling the source of your stress can have benefits in the bedroom as well.
Fear of failure
Anxiety about your sexual prowess (commonly called performance anxiety) can, in itself, contribute to failure. By putting pressure on yourself, you become too anxious to get an adequate erection.
Problems with your relationship
Impotence may be a manifestation of a poor relationship, or a problematic time in a relationship. Sexual boredom, tension or anger among partners, and lack of intimacy and communication are all possible triggers of erectile dysfunction. In these cases, seeing a counsellor may help.
It’s worth remembering that impotence is a complex medical condition, which may have more than one cause. For example, if impotence is the result of a side effect of medication or an underlying disease, the anxiety caused by lack of performance may perpetuate the erectile dysfunction even after the physical cause has been tackled.
If you’re worried about your sexual response or the quality of your erections, don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor, who has access to treatments that can help.
What is orgasm ?
The orgasm is not the most important part of sex, it is an important part. Orgasms vary from person to person - there is no 'natural' or typical orgasm.
Everyone can orgasm, but not everyone does.
Orgasms vary from person to person - there is no 'natural' or typical orgasm; some women need direct clitoral stimulation (touching of the clitoris) during sex in order to have an orgasm, others don't.
The orgasm is not the most important part of sex, it is an important part.
Not every sexual encounter - masturbatory or with a partner - has to climax with an orgasm.
'Coming together' is not as common as sexual 'gossip' would have us believe - most partners have mutual orgasms only occasionally, some couples never do.
In their youth, a majority of women find reaching orgasm hard - as they get older and become more sexually experienced, it becomes easier. Sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman's vagina by a man's penis, may be sufficient to bring the man to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm - in fact it is very common for a woman not to have an orgasm if her only sexual stimulation is intercourse.
An orgasm is much more likely to eventuate if both partners are relaxed and happy about having sex together, are 'turned-on' by each other and are able to arouse and excite each other in ways that are mutually satisfying.
The inability to experience an orgasm is a common sexual problem, especially so with women. Roughly 1 in 10 women (and this could be a conservative estimate) report never having an orgasm but in most cases the problem can be overcome.
Everyone can orgasm, but not everyone does.
Orgasms vary from person to person - there is no 'natural' or typical orgasm; some women need direct clitoral stimulation (touching of the clitoris) during sex in order to have an orgasm, others don't.
The orgasm is not the most important part of sex, it is an important part.
Not every sexual encounter - masturbatory or with a partner - has to climax with an orgasm.
'Coming together' is not as common as sexual 'gossip' would have us believe - most partners have mutual orgasms only occasionally, some couples never do.
In their youth, a majority of women find reaching orgasm hard - as they get older and become more sexually experienced, it becomes easier. Sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman's vagina by a man's penis, may be sufficient to bring the man to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm - in fact it is very common for a woman not to have an orgasm if her only sexual stimulation is intercourse.
An orgasm is much more likely to eventuate if both partners are relaxed and happy about having sex together, are 'turned-on' by each other and are able to arouse and excite each other in ways that are mutually satisfying.
The inability to experience an orgasm is a common sexual problem, especially so with women. Roughly 1 in 10 women (and this could be a conservative estimate) report never having an orgasm but in most cases the problem can be overcome.
What is sex problems ?
Common problems which may make it difficult to reach orgasm are impotence, vaginismus, delayed ejaculation and cystitis.
Difficulty reaching orgasm.
Impotence - difficulty getting and maintaining an erection.
Vaginismus - when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse.
Delayed or early ejaculation - coming too soon, too late or not at all.
Vaginal dryness - difficulties triggering natural lubrication during sex.
Unresponsiveness - lack of interest in sex for men and women.
Cystitis - infection of the bladder and urethra.
Sexually transmitted diseases.
Difficulty reaching orgasm.
Impotence - difficulty getting and maintaining an erection.
Vaginismus - when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse.
Delayed or early ejaculation - coming too soon, too late or not at all.
Vaginal dryness - difficulties triggering natural lubrication during sex.
Unresponsiveness - lack of interest in sex for men and women.
Cystitis - infection of the bladder and urethra.
Sexually transmitted diseases.
What is vaginismus?
What is vaginismus?
Vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse (or inhibit medical examination or tampon insertion).
Normally, the vaginal sphincter (which is a group of muscles) keeps the vagina closed. When it expands and relaxes, it enables intercourse, childbirth, medical examination and insertion of tampons. Vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse (or inhibit medical examination or tampon insertion). When vaginismus occurs, the sphincter goes into spasm. Vaginismus is not uncommon. With some women, vaginismus prevents all attempts at successful intercourse. It may occur later in life, even if a woman has a history of enjoyable and painless intercourse.
What causes it?
Frightening or painful experiences can cause some women to believe or fear that penetration might be painful or even impossible.
Cultural and religious backgrounds are sometimes strict and can reinforce the 'ideal of the virgin'.Concepts such as penetration, intercourse and even sex can cause fear or trepidation in the mind of a young woman. Stories about painful first intercourse reinforce fears of penetration. Fear about penetration can compound and create a pattern of sexual anxiety, causing the vagina to remain dry and unrelaxed before intercourse.
Recurring or lasting vaginismus can derive from adolescent conditioning and unsatisfying early sexual experience or abuse. In some cases, vaginismus may eventuate after a history of successful and enjoyable intercourse - due to a vaginal infection, the physical after-effects of childbirth, tiredness or some other cause, which causes painful intercourse, possibly leading to a pattern of further vaginismus even though the original cause has disappeared. The anticipation of painful penetration - even though there may be no physical impediment to normal, painless intercourse - can be a common cause of vaginismus.
What can be done?
It is possible to practice techniques which will prevent vaginismus, that is, to train the vaginal sphincter to relax and permit penetration.
It usually takes time and practice to 'retrain' the vaginal sphincter. Until you are confident that you can master these techniques, you and your partner should avoid attempts at forced penetration and concentrate on other sexual activities...of which there are many! Make sure that any pain you have experienced during attempts at intercourse is not a result of medical problems - consult your medical practitioner.
If the problem is found to be vaginismus try these techniques over time. Don't rush but set your goals - 'I will have enjoyable sex and enjoyable sex includes intercourse', 'I will enjoy penetrative sex'.
Relaxed and on your own, think about a level of discomfort you can tolerate for a short moment, deliberately let your vagina become tense. Then let it relax, use a lubricant and gradually insert your fingers or a vaginal dilator (obtainable through your doctor, or a sex therapist) into your vagina until you reach, but don't exceed, your discomfort level. Be realistic - allow some discomfort, perhaps expect it, but don't let it become painful - just progress one step at a time. There is no hurry, practice in the bath or shower if you prefer.
Find a position that suits you - lying back, on your side, squatting. It's your choice - allow yourself to enjoy the experience. Over time, progress further into your vagina, moving from your little finger to your index finger or perhaps using a larger dilator. Feel confident - you're not inserting anything into your vagina that won't fit; after all the vagina can expand to allow the birth of a baby! As you progress, incorporate water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly in your training - use as much or as little as you like. Gradually, you will train your vagina to expect these new feelings and larger objects.
Now you're ready to practice with your partner. Follow the steps again, but this time let your partner insert their finger or the dilator into your vagina - gradually. Proceed with patience - eventually your vagina will relax enough to permit your partner's penis to penetrate, perhaps a little at a time. Practice, practice, practice. Allow the experience to be enjoyable for you both - take time to discover each other's desires and turn-ons.
Vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse (or inhibit medical examination or tampon insertion).
Normally, the vaginal sphincter (which is a group of muscles) keeps the vagina closed. When it expands and relaxes, it enables intercourse, childbirth, medical examination and insertion of tampons. Vaginismus occurs when the vagina is unable to relax and permit the penetration of the penis during intercourse (or inhibit medical examination or tampon insertion). When vaginismus occurs, the sphincter goes into spasm. Vaginismus is not uncommon. With some women, vaginismus prevents all attempts at successful intercourse. It may occur later in life, even if a woman has a history of enjoyable and painless intercourse.
What causes it?
Frightening or painful experiences can cause some women to believe or fear that penetration might be painful or even impossible.
Cultural and religious backgrounds are sometimes strict and can reinforce the 'ideal of the virgin'.Concepts such as penetration, intercourse and even sex can cause fear or trepidation in the mind of a young woman. Stories about painful first intercourse reinforce fears of penetration. Fear about penetration can compound and create a pattern of sexual anxiety, causing the vagina to remain dry and unrelaxed before intercourse.
Recurring or lasting vaginismus can derive from adolescent conditioning and unsatisfying early sexual experience or abuse. In some cases, vaginismus may eventuate after a history of successful and enjoyable intercourse - due to a vaginal infection, the physical after-effects of childbirth, tiredness or some other cause, which causes painful intercourse, possibly leading to a pattern of further vaginismus even though the original cause has disappeared. The anticipation of painful penetration - even though there may be no physical impediment to normal, painless intercourse - can be a common cause of vaginismus.
What can be done?
It is possible to practice techniques which will prevent vaginismus, that is, to train the vaginal sphincter to relax and permit penetration.
It usually takes time and practice to 'retrain' the vaginal sphincter. Until you are confident that you can master these techniques, you and your partner should avoid attempts at forced penetration and concentrate on other sexual activities...of which there are many! Make sure that any pain you have experienced during attempts at intercourse is not a result of medical problems - consult your medical practitioner.
If the problem is found to be vaginismus try these techniques over time. Don't rush but set your goals - 'I will have enjoyable sex and enjoyable sex includes intercourse', 'I will enjoy penetrative sex'.
Relaxed and on your own, think about a level of discomfort you can tolerate for a short moment, deliberately let your vagina become tense. Then let it relax, use a lubricant and gradually insert your fingers or a vaginal dilator (obtainable through your doctor, or a sex therapist) into your vagina until you reach, but don't exceed, your discomfort level. Be realistic - allow some discomfort, perhaps expect it, but don't let it become painful - just progress one step at a time. There is no hurry, practice in the bath or shower if you prefer.
Find a position that suits you - lying back, on your side, squatting. It's your choice - allow yourself to enjoy the experience. Over time, progress further into your vagina, moving from your little finger to your index finger or perhaps using a larger dilator. Feel confident - you're not inserting anything into your vagina that won't fit; after all the vagina can expand to allow the birth of a baby! As you progress, incorporate water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly in your training - use as much or as little as you like. Gradually, you will train your vagina to expect these new feelings and larger objects.
Now you're ready to practice with your partner. Follow the steps again, but this time let your partner insert their finger or the dilator into your vagina - gradually. Proceed with patience - eventually your vagina will relax enough to permit your partner's penis to penetrate, perhaps a little at a time. Practice, practice, practice. Allow the experience to be enjoyable for you both - take time to discover each other's desires and turn-ons.
What is safe sex ?
Safe sex is a way of having sex without the risk of spreading HIV/AIDS or other STDs. There is no way to be 100% sure that HIV or other STDs will not be spread but safe sex practices have shown to be highly effective in prevention of HIV and STD transmission. Safe sex means taking precautions to stop semen or pre-ejaculate (pre-cum), blood or vaginal fluid from one person getting into the bloodstream of another person.
Abstinence, or no sex at all, is obviously safe.
Kissing does not involve semen, vaginal fluids or blood, so is safe - unless both partners have sores, open cuts or bleeding gums.
Massage, stroking and mutual masturbation are all forms of sexual enjoyment with only skin to skin contact, and will not pass on HIV. The only risks with mutual masturbation are cuts or sores on the hands, penis or vaginal area coming into contact with infected semen or vaginal fluids - latex gloves can be worn if needed or broken skin covered with plasters.
Studies show that oral sex is a low risk activity for HIV, although it is safest to avoid semen or menstrual blood in the mouth, particularly if there are cuts, sores on the lips, mouth infections or bleeding gums. Barriers such as condoms or latex dams can be used. A dental dam is a thin piece of latex which is be placed over the vagina or anal area during oral sex.
Rimming, or oral-anal contact, is a low-risk activity as far as HIV is concerned but is a risk for hepatitis. A dam, or condom split into a square is recommended.
Penis-vagina and penis-anus sex are safe when condoms are used properly.
Condoms and the female condom offer the best protection against HIV and other STDs.
Abstinence, or no sex at all, is obviously safe.
Kissing does not involve semen, vaginal fluids or blood, so is safe - unless both partners have sores, open cuts or bleeding gums.
Massage, stroking and mutual masturbation are all forms of sexual enjoyment with only skin to skin contact, and will not pass on HIV. The only risks with mutual masturbation are cuts or sores on the hands, penis or vaginal area coming into contact with infected semen or vaginal fluids - latex gloves can be worn if needed or broken skin covered with plasters.
Studies show that oral sex is a low risk activity for HIV, although it is safest to avoid semen or menstrual blood in the mouth, particularly if there are cuts, sores on the lips, mouth infections or bleeding gums. Barriers such as condoms or latex dams can be used. A dental dam is a thin piece of latex which is be placed over the vagina or anal area during oral sex.
Rimming, or oral-anal contact, is a low-risk activity as far as HIV is concerned but is a risk for hepatitis. A dam, or condom split into a square is recommended.
Penis-vagina and penis-anus sex are safe when condoms are used properly.
Condoms and the female condom offer the best protection against HIV and other STDs.
What is sexuality?
What is sexuality?
Sexuality is a complex aspect of our personality and 'self'. Our sexuality is defined by sexual thoughts, desires and longings, erotic fantasies, turn-ons and experiences. In many ways sexuality is the force that empowers us to express and display strong, emotional feelings for another person and is a natural stimulus for the procreation of our species. The 'thing' that attracts one person to another may not always be sexual - it could be sense of humor, personality, 'likeability', compatibility, or intelligence. Sex or sexuality may only be a secondary consideration. Sometimes, part of our sexuality can be suppressed - some people have sexual desires about particular friends or associates, but don't act on or talk about those desires. Others have general sexual desires or fantasies about people of their own sex (that is, same sex), but don't explore or discuss those thoughts and feelings.
Sexuality is a complex aspect of our personality and 'self'. Our sexuality is defined by sexual thoughts, desires and longings, erotic fantasies, turn-ons and experiences. In many ways sexuality is the force that empowers us to express and display strong, emotional feelings for another person and is a natural stimulus for the procreation of our species. The 'thing' that attracts one person to another may not always be sexual - it could be sense of humor, personality, 'likeability', compatibility, or intelligence. Sex or sexuality may only be a secondary consideration. Sometimes, part of our sexuality can be suppressed - some people have sexual desires about particular friends or associates, but don't act on or talk about those desires. Others have general sexual desires or fantasies about people of their own sex (that is, same sex), but don't explore or discuss those thoughts and feelings.
What is ISO 14000 ?
A series of standards emitted or being prepared by the International Standards Organization (ISO), covering a number of environmental topics. ISO 14001, which was emitted in 1996, lays down a model for an environmental management system that can be adopted by any organization and can be certified by an accredited certifying body. This model is very similar to EMAS, emitted by the European Community in 1993.
What is ISO 9000 ?
Established in 1987, ISO 9000 is an international set of five related standards for qualification of global quality assurance and quality control standards. Adherence is accomplished through an application process for ISO 9000 certification in company standards for inspecting production processes, updating records, maintaining equipment, training employees and handling customer relations. The governing international consortium is recognized worldwide
What is ISO ?
International Standards Organization: An organization established to develop standards to facilitate the international exchanges of goods and services and to develop mutual cooperation in areas of intellectual, scientific, technological, and economic activity.
What is innovation?
What is innovation?
The history of Mankind, our history, is a history based on innovation. Innovation is a process which leads to improved engineering, technology, methods, state of mind and organization. If you look at it that way, we are constantly involved with innovation as human beings. We have no choice other than to carry on learning and improving ourselves. Innovation means venturing away from familiar ground into uncharted territory. With the aim of somehow discovering something better in the uncharted territory than on the familiar ground.
Why is innovation essential?
Today our memory is primarily driven by the laws of the free market. So a supplier needs to churn out innovations constantly, otherwise the competition will leave him standing.
If a company comes up with little or no innovation, there are no short-term consequences, there may even be a positive effect on profits. Developing innovation always entails provision of resources as well, and making a long-term investment in the company's future.
How does innovation happen?
Because innovation is so important, innovation must be one of the core processes of every company. In reality this is not always the case.
Management, development/production and marketing/sales must all contribute towards the innovation process and experience it together. If this is the case, all those involved will get together to pool their requirements. Each party must understand the concerns of the others, while at the same time promote their own. Only with the courage to deal with this chaos will the ultimate result be a success, creating something innovative.
The history of Mankind, our history, is a history based on innovation. Innovation is a process which leads to improved engineering, technology, methods, state of mind and organization. If you look at it that way, we are constantly involved with innovation as human beings. We have no choice other than to carry on learning and improving ourselves. Innovation means venturing away from familiar ground into uncharted territory. With the aim of somehow discovering something better in the uncharted territory than on the familiar ground.
Why is innovation essential?
Today our memory is primarily driven by the laws of the free market. So a supplier needs to churn out innovations constantly, otherwise the competition will leave him standing.
If a company comes up with little or no innovation, there are no short-term consequences, there may even be a positive effect on profits. Developing innovation always entails provision of resources as well, and making a long-term investment in the company's future.
How does innovation happen?
Because innovation is so important, innovation must be one of the core processes of every company. In reality this is not always the case.
Management, development/production and marketing/sales must all contribute towards the innovation process and experience it together. If this is the case, all those involved will get together to pool their requirements. Each party must understand the concerns of the others, while at the same time promote their own. Only with the courage to deal with this chaos will the ultimate result be a success, creating something innovative.
What is Happiness ?
What is Happiness
True happiness is such a rare commodity that the whole of the world is continuously seeking it and failing to find it. All the people, who we consider to be the best in their fields, are seeking it too and failing to acquire it. The most brilliant of the scientists, the most gifted of artists, the most talented of poets and authors, the wealthiest businessmen, the most powerful rulers, the greatest achievers in any field - all of them have been striving for it all their lives and failed to have it. Why is happiness such an elusive thing? Is it that it cannot simply be achieved? Or is it that it is not where all of us have been looking for it?
If you pause to give it a thought it is very easy to see that somehow we have all been missing the point. It is either that we have all been looking for happiness at the wrong places or that it is simply not possible to achieve happiness. The answer is not very easy. But it is obvious that if the whole of the humanity has been trying to find something throughout the history and failing to acquire it then something must be very wrong about the concept we have of happiness.
Let us try to delve a bit deeper. What is it that we consider happiness? This is how I see it:
Happiness is what you feel when what you want to happen happens.
And if this definition of happiness is correct then we can conclude that unhappiness is what we feel when what we want to happen does not happen.
These definitions look obvious enough but for the most of the people they are not. At least not so clearly defined in their minds. It would therefore be better if we stop to ponder over these definitions.
True happiness is such a rare commodity that the whole of the world is continuously seeking it and failing to find it. All the people, who we consider to be the best in their fields, are seeking it too and failing to acquire it. The most brilliant of the scientists, the most gifted of artists, the most talented of poets and authors, the wealthiest businessmen, the most powerful rulers, the greatest achievers in any field - all of them have been striving for it all their lives and failed to have it. Why is happiness such an elusive thing? Is it that it cannot simply be achieved? Or is it that it is not where all of us have been looking for it?
If you pause to give it a thought it is very easy to see that somehow we have all been missing the point. It is either that we have all been looking for happiness at the wrong places or that it is simply not possible to achieve happiness. The answer is not very easy. But it is obvious that if the whole of the humanity has been trying to find something throughout the history and failing to acquire it then something must be very wrong about the concept we have of happiness.
Let us try to delve a bit deeper. What is it that we consider happiness? This is how I see it:
Happiness is what you feel when what you want to happen happens.
And if this definition of happiness is correct then we can conclude that unhappiness is what we feel when what we want to happen does not happen.
These definitions look obvious enough but for the most of the people they are not. At least not so clearly defined in their minds. It would therefore be better if we stop to ponder over these definitions.
What is goal setting ?
Goal Setting is an extremely powerful technique for accomplishment, but for Goal Setting to really be effective requires more than just writing down what we want to achieve. This article will present important steps that will help to define and achieve goals with more success.
Benefits of Goal Setting
Goal setting helps us determine our priorities, get organized, make big decisions, and realize our dreams. Almost all motivational experts incorporate goal setting as an important part of their programs. Zig Ziglar, when speaking of the importance of goals, poses the question “Are you a wandering generality or a meaningful specific”. I personally became so sold on the power of goals that I created a website called MyGoalManager.com. The objective of the website is to direct the user through the entire Goal process from definition to achievement. This Goal Achievement process entails the following requirements:
1. Well formed Goal Statements
2. Breaking goals down into manageable Steps
3. Motivation and Commitment
4. Reminders and Keeping on track
5. Frequent Review and Re-assessment
1. Well formed Goal Statements
The Goal Statement forms the basis for the entire process so careful attention should be placed on formulating a clear and accurate goal statement. A good way to remember how a goal statement should be defined is the old S.M.A.R.T. acronym used by many experts in goal setting. SMART stands for:
Specific
Measurable
Action-Oriented
Realistic
Time and Resource Constrained
The Goal should be specific enough so that we know exactly what we are striving for, measurable so we can tell exactly when the goal has been reached, action-oriented to indicate an activity that will produce results, realistic in that it is practical and can be achieved, and time and resources constrained meaning that it has a definite deadline for completion and realizes limited availability of resources. The goal statement “Increase sales 25% by the end of the fiscal year without increasing advertising spending” is an example that follows these rules.
2. Breaking down Goals into manageable Steps
Once we have a well-formed Goal Statement we need some direction to follow to achieve this Goal. The creation of Goal Steps gives us a list of the important things that need to be done to achieve the Goal, an action plan, and also allows us to track our progress towards the goal. While the goal “Increase sales 25% by the end of the fiscal year without increasing advertising spending” is a great goal statement, this is a monumental task without being broken down into smaller detailed steps.
3. Motivation and Commitment
Motivation and commitment are what make us strive to achievement. They give us the push, desire, and resolve to complete all of the other steps in the Goal process. This motivation can be obtained by developing a statement that creates a high level of emotion and energy that guarantees achievement. Commitment is what sets us on direct course to reach our goals and creates costly negative consequences for failure.
4. Reminders and Keeping on Track
Reaching our goals requires persistence and regular attention. We need some sort of system to keep us reminded and accountable. MyGoalManager.com uses a combination reminder emails, calendars, and reports to keep users organized and on track. If some accountability system is not used then we are likely to loose sight and fail.
5. Frequent Review and Re-assessment
Goal Setting is definitely an ongoing process that is accomplished over time. When we first sit down and start to define goals it can seem like a difficult and daunting task but over time it begins to get much easier. Patience is required. All goals due in the next year should be reviewed at least once a week and daily if possible. The great thing about frequent review is that this forces us to make big decisions and determine priorities in our life. We should keep watch for goals that aren’t being achieved on time or for goals on which we keep extending the deadline.
Benefits of Goal Setting
Goal setting helps us determine our priorities, get organized, make big decisions, and realize our dreams. Almost all motivational experts incorporate goal setting as an important part of their programs. Zig Ziglar, when speaking of the importance of goals, poses the question “Are you a wandering generality or a meaningful specific”. I personally became so sold on the power of goals that I created a website called MyGoalManager.com. The objective of the website is to direct the user through the entire Goal process from definition to achievement. This Goal Achievement process entails the following requirements:
1. Well formed Goal Statements
2. Breaking goals down into manageable Steps
3. Motivation and Commitment
4. Reminders and Keeping on track
5. Frequent Review and Re-assessment
1. Well formed Goal Statements
The Goal Statement forms the basis for the entire process so careful attention should be placed on formulating a clear and accurate goal statement. A good way to remember how a goal statement should be defined is the old S.M.A.R.T. acronym used by many experts in goal setting. SMART stands for:
Specific
Measurable
Action-Oriented
Realistic
Time and Resource Constrained
The Goal should be specific enough so that we know exactly what we are striving for, measurable so we can tell exactly when the goal has been reached, action-oriented to indicate an activity that will produce results, realistic in that it is practical and can be achieved, and time and resources constrained meaning that it has a definite deadline for completion and realizes limited availability of resources. The goal statement “Increase sales 25% by the end of the fiscal year without increasing advertising spending” is an example that follows these rules.
2. Breaking down Goals into manageable Steps
Once we have a well-formed Goal Statement we need some direction to follow to achieve this Goal. The creation of Goal Steps gives us a list of the important things that need to be done to achieve the Goal, an action plan, and also allows us to track our progress towards the goal. While the goal “Increase sales 25% by the end of the fiscal year without increasing advertising spending” is a great goal statement, this is a monumental task without being broken down into smaller detailed steps.
3. Motivation and Commitment
Motivation and commitment are what make us strive to achievement. They give us the push, desire, and resolve to complete all of the other steps in the Goal process. This motivation can be obtained by developing a statement that creates a high level of emotion and energy that guarantees achievement. Commitment is what sets us on direct course to reach our goals and creates costly negative consequences for failure.
4. Reminders and Keeping on Track
Reaching our goals requires persistence and regular attention. We need some sort of system to keep us reminded and accountable. MyGoalManager.com uses a combination reminder emails, calendars, and reports to keep users organized and on track. If some accountability system is not used then we are likely to loose sight and fail.
5. Frequent Review and Re-assessment
Goal Setting is definitely an ongoing process that is accomplished over time. When we first sit down and start to define goals it can seem like a difficult and daunting task but over time it begins to get much easier. Patience is required. All goals due in the next year should be reviewed at least once a week and daily if possible. The great thing about frequent review is that this forces us to make big decisions and determine priorities in our life. We should keep watch for goals that aren’t being achieved on time or for goals on which we keep extending the deadline.
What is coaching ?
Coaching is defined as powerful alliance designed to forward and enhance the lifelong process of human learning, effectiveness and fulfillment. A coach is someone who will help you articulate your goals, define strategies and plans, hold a vision of you in full expression and success, and challenge you to achieve that vision. So you and your coach become powerful participants in a team that is committed to deepening your learning and forwarding the progress toward your dissertation goals.
What is Attraction Marketing?
What is Attraction Marketing?
Attraction Marketing seems to be ‘the next big thing’ in both online and offline marketing tool kits. The obvious question is ‘What is Attraction Marketing?’ however, two better questions would be ‘Why should I care?’ and the question every entrepreneur, vendor or organisation should ask before they do anything ‘What’s in it for me?’
In order to define Attraction Marketing, it seems logical that one must first describe marketing. This, in itself, would easily fill another article – there are literally hundreds of definitions in thousands of textbooks, articles and websites. A theme common in the majority of definitions is that Marketing relates to the many forms of communication that take place between a product or service vendor and the target audience. This is quite separate from the activity of selling, which refers to the transaction where goods or services are exchanged for an agreed value – normally measured in a unit of currency. In the simplest of terms we can say that marketing is the process by which a customer can be persuaded to conduct a purchasing transaction.
If this is our working definition, what has attraction got to do with persuasion I hear you cry? Well in short not a lot and that is the key. It takes a lot of effort to persuade someone to do something or to buy something that they have not yet already decided to buy. Effort, in this instance, equates to time and money. If you do not have a limitless supply of cash, the task of persuading someone to buy your product is going to be near impossible, especially when you consider your going to be competing with some very big budget advertisers. Can you really out market Coke or Pepsi? Do you want to compete head to head with Nike or BMW? I think not!
But let’s approach this from a different angle. What if you didn’t set out to persuade anyone to buy something? What if you just let people search for you? Already this sounds cheaper and easier because your potential customers are now looking for you. And thanks to Google and the other Search Engines, consumers have an almost limitless variety of choice. This choice includes the big name mega brands and all the other not-so-big or not-so-mega brands. The Internet has, to some extent, levelled the playing field. If a potential consumer has want that is currently unsatisfied they can search for a product or service that they believe will meet their need.
And this brings us back to Attraction. It is a well cited statistic that it costs five times as much to win a new customer as it does to keep an existing one. The same must be true in the broader world of Marketing. Convincing someone that they have a need is expensive. However, persuading someone who already has a need that your product or service is better than your competitors is a much cheaper exercise. Why? Well the potential buyer has already qualified their own need; they have already convinced themselves that their need can be met. It is your job to attract them to your particular corner of the market, whether that is your Internet site, your company’s office, your shop or bar, in fact wherever you do what you do!
Attraction Marketing is the practice of allowing pre-qualified buyers to find your product offering. If, at the same time, you can show them that it meets their need and in a better way than your competitors can, you probably don’t even have to worry about the sales transaction. After all they came looking for you, it’s not like you had to sell them anything…
Attraction Marketing seems to be ‘the next big thing’ in both online and offline marketing tool kits. The obvious question is ‘What is Attraction Marketing?’ however, two better questions would be ‘Why should I care?’ and the question every entrepreneur, vendor or organisation should ask before they do anything ‘What’s in it for me?’
In order to define Attraction Marketing, it seems logical that one must first describe marketing. This, in itself, would easily fill another article – there are literally hundreds of definitions in thousands of textbooks, articles and websites. A theme common in the majority of definitions is that Marketing relates to the many forms of communication that take place between a product or service vendor and the target audience. This is quite separate from the activity of selling, which refers to the transaction where goods or services are exchanged for an agreed value – normally measured in a unit of currency. In the simplest of terms we can say that marketing is the process by which a customer can be persuaded to conduct a purchasing transaction.
If this is our working definition, what has attraction got to do with persuasion I hear you cry? Well in short not a lot and that is the key. It takes a lot of effort to persuade someone to do something or to buy something that they have not yet already decided to buy. Effort, in this instance, equates to time and money. If you do not have a limitless supply of cash, the task of persuading someone to buy your product is going to be near impossible, especially when you consider your going to be competing with some very big budget advertisers. Can you really out market Coke or Pepsi? Do you want to compete head to head with Nike or BMW? I think not!
But let’s approach this from a different angle. What if you didn’t set out to persuade anyone to buy something? What if you just let people search for you? Already this sounds cheaper and easier because your potential customers are now looking for you. And thanks to Google and the other Search Engines, consumers have an almost limitless variety of choice. This choice includes the big name mega brands and all the other not-so-big or not-so-mega brands. The Internet has, to some extent, levelled the playing field. If a potential consumer has want that is currently unsatisfied they can search for a product or service that they believe will meet their need.
And this brings us back to Attraction. It is a well cited statistic that it costs five times as much to win a new customer as it does to keep an existing one. The same must be true in the broader world of Marketing. Convincing someone that they have a need is expensive. However, persuading someone who already has a need that your product or service is better than your competitors is a much cheaper exercise. Why? Well the potential buyer has already qualified their own need; they have already convinced themselves that their need can be met. It is your job to attract them to your particular corner of the market, whether that is your Internet site, your company’s office, your shop or bar, in fact wherever you do what you do!
Attraction Marketing is the practice of allowing pre-qualified buyers to find your product offering. If, at the same time, you can show them that it meets their need and in a better way than your competitors can, you probably don’t even have to worry about the sales transaction. After all they came looking for you, it’s not like you had to sell them anything…
What Is Leadership?
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is a process of getting things done through people. The quarterback moves the team toward a touchdown. The senior patrol leader guides the troop to a high rating at the camporee. The mayor gets the people to support new policies to make the city better.
These leaders are getting things done by working through people -- football players, Scouts, and ordinary citizens. They have used the process of leadership to reach certain goals.
Leadership is not a science. So being a leader is an adventure because you can never be sure whether you will reach your goal -- at least this time. The touchdown drive may end in a fumble. The troop may have a bad weekend during the camporee. Or the city's citizens may not be convinced that the mayor's policies are right. So these leaders have to try again, using other methods. But they still use the same process the process of good leadership.
Leadership means responsibility. It's adventure and often fun, but it always means responsibility. The leader is the guy the others look to to get the job done. So don't think your job as a troop leader or a staff member will be just an honor. It's more than that. It means that the other Scouts expect you to take the responsibility of getting the job done. If you lead, they will do the job. If you don't, they may expect you to do the job all by yourself.
That's why it's important that you begin right now to learn what leadership is all about.
Wear your badge of office proudly. It does not automatically make you a good leader. But it identifies you as a Scout who others want to follow -- if you'll let them by showing leadership.
You are not a finished leader. No one ever is, not even a president or prime minister. But you are an explorer of the human mind because now you are going to try to learn how to get things done through people. This is one of the keys to leadership.
You are searching for the secrets of leadership. Many of them lie locked inside you. As you discover them and practice them, you will join a special group of people-skilled leaders.
Good exploring -- both in this handbook and with the groups you will have a chance to lead.
Leadership is a process of getting things done through people. The quarterback moves the team toward a touchdown. The senior patrol leader guides the troop to a high rating at the camporee. The mayor gets the people to support new policies to make the city better.
These leaders are getting things done by working through people -- football players, Scouts, and ordinary citizens. They have used the process of leadership to reach certain goals.
Leadership is not a science. So being a leader is an adventure because you can never be sure whether you will reach your goal -- at least this time. The touchdown drive may end in a fumble. The troop may have a bad weekend during the camporee. Or the city's citizens may not be convinced that the mayor's policies are right. So these leaders have to try again, using other methods. But they still use the same process the process of good leadership.
Leadership means responsibility. It's adventure and often fun, but it always means responsibility. The leader is the guy the others look to to get the job done. So don't think your job as a troop leader or a staff member will be just an honor. It's more than that. It means that the other Scouts expect you to take the responsibility of getting the job done. If you lead, they will do the job. If you don't, they may expect you to do the job all by yourself.
That's why it's important that you begin right now to learn what leadership is all about.
Wear your badge of office proudly. It does not automatically make you a good leader. But it identifies you as a Scout who others want to follow -- if you'll let them by showing leadership.
You are not a finished leader. No one ever is, not even a president or prime minister. But you are an explorer of the human mind because now you are going to try to learn how to get things done through people. This is one of the keys to leadership.
You are searching for the secrets of leadership. Many of them lie locked inside you. As you discover them and practice them, you will join a special group of people-skilled leaders.
Good exploring -- both in this handbook and with the groups you will have a chance to lead.
What is Organisational Goals ?
Organisational Goals
All organisations have goals.
These goals might be to make the most profit they can, or to gain the highest market share in their area of business or in the case of many community organisations, to provide an effective service to the community even if they do not make any money at all.
Managers are employed to ensure that the people who work in an organisation are working together to achieve the organisations goals.
All organisations have goals.
These goals might be to make the most profit they can, or to gain the highest market share in their area of business or in the case of many community organisations, to provide an effective service to the community even if they do not make any money at all.
Managers are employed to ensure that the people who work in an organisation are working together to achieve the organisations goals.
What is Organisational Structures ?
Organisational Structures
The word organisation has two different meanings in this area of study.
* an institution or functional group such as a business or a society
* the process of organising. This is the way in which work is arranged and allocated among members of an organisation so that the goals of the "organisation" can be most efficiently achieved.
The process of organising is dividing up the work that is done among areas and employees and linking together these areas and jobs in order to form a unified whole, (a single working unit where all of its parts work together to achieve the organisations goals).
The Division of Work.
The division of work is the breaking down of the jobs that your organisation needs to do in order to achieve its goals. A craftsperson who is making, selling and designing chairs would do a lot of different things in the course of that activity. If the chair was being mass produced in a large company the tasks would probably be broken down into smaller sections handled by different people such as purchasing, design, sales and marketing, production etc. All of these areas could be broken down even further.
It is believed that job specialisation leads to greater efficiency and higher output per person than a more general approach but it does have its problems such as creating boring and repetitive jobs, but there are strategies for helping to deal with these problems.
Structure of Organisations
In order to structure your organisation you need to take these divisions of work and organise them into logical groupings . You need to show how these areas are linked to each other, the hierarchy, levels of authority and responsibility and its formal channels of communication.
Types of Organisational Structures
o The General structure
o Functional Structure
o Geographical Structure
o The Matrix Structure
The word organisation has two different meanings in this area of study.
* an institution or functional group such as a business or a society
* the process of organising. This is the way in which work is arranged and allocated among members of an organisation so that the goals of the "organisation" can be most efficiently achieved.
The process of organising is dividing up the work that is done among areas and employees and linking together these areas and jobs in order to form a unified whole, (a single working unit where all of its parts work together to achieve the organisations goals).
The Division of Work.
The division of work is the breaking down of the jobs that your organisation needs to do in order to achieve its goals. A craftsperson who is making, selling and designing chairs would do a lot of different things in the course of that activity. If the chair was being mass produced in a large company the tasks would probably be broken down into smaller sections handled by different people such as purchasing, design, sales and marketing, production etc. All of these areas could be broken down even further.
It is believed that job specialisation leads to greater efficiency and higher output per person than a more general approach but it does have its problems such as creating boring and repetitive jobs, but there are strategies for helping to deal with these problems.
Structure of Organisations
In order to structure your organisation you need to take these divisions of work and organise them into logical groupings . You need to show how these areas are linked to each other, the hierarchy, levels of authority and responsibility and its formal channels of communication.
Types of Organisational Structures
o The General structure
o Functional Structure
o Geographical Structure
o The Matrix Structure
WHAT IS ORGANISATIONAL CULTURE
ORGANISATIONAL CULTURE
The culture of an organisation is an amalgamation of the values and beliefs of the people in an organisation. It can be felt in the implicit rules and expectations of behaviour in an organisation where, even though the rules are not formally written down employees know what is expected of them. It is usually set by management whose decisions on policy usually set up the culture of the organisation. The organisational culture usually has values and beliefs that support the organisational goals.
Values and Beliefs which support Organisational Goals.
The culture of the organisation, if it is positive and helpful can help to motivate staff or at least prevent them from becoming dissatisfied. At I.B.M. the attitude of management to their employees is an attraction to prospective staff and would probably help maintain the staff that they have. If the climate does not satisfy the needs of staff, then it will probably become a demotivator, - that is that it would cause dissatisfaction and so people would become less inclined to want to work towards the organisational goals.
The culture of an organisation is an amalgamation of the values and beliefs of the people in an organisation. It can be felt in the implicit rules and expectations of behaviour in an organisation where, even though the rules are not formally written down employees know what is expected of them. It is usually set by management whose decisions on policy usually set up the culture of the organisation. The organisational culture usually has values and beliefs that support the organisational goals.
Values and Beliefs which support Organisational Goals.
The culture of the organisation, if it is positive and helpful can help to motivate staff or at least prevent them from becoming dissatisfied. At I.B.M. the attitude of management to their employees is an attraction to prospective staff and would probably help maintain the staff that they have. If the climate does not satisfy the needs of staff, then it will probably become a demotivator, - that is that it would cause dissatisfaction and so people would become less inclined to want to work towards the organisational goals.
What is work flow ?
WORK FLOW
Work flow relationships are where work is done by different departments in a fixed sequence. That means that one department needs to finish its job before the work can be continued by another department. The development and maintenance of these work flow relationships is very important for managers because they are dependant on the preceding areas for his of her own work and is responsible to the managers and workers in the further stages of the chain.
This work flow sequence can be shown in charts and graphs. This is very useful so that "bottle-necks" (areas where work could be slowed down or even stopped) can be seen and avoided and the system understood.
Suppliers, Manufacturing, Packaging, Sales, Distribution
There are three areas where problems can occur in work flow relationships:
Information - Poor communication can lead to many problems. Managers need to know of any delays etc. so that they can more effectively organise their areas. This means that there must be frequent and accurate information conveyed between areas. If this does not happen it can cause difficulties which may have been avoided and also may cause ill will between departments affecting their ability to work as an efficient team.
Timing - The timing in this sort of work flow is very important. If the work schedule in one area is changed then it may affect all or some of the other areas in the chain (which may prove to be quite difficult) This can also lead to ill will between departments.
Ways of Working - The manager needs to monitor all of the work flow areas in order to ensure that the way in which the work is carried out is compatible between all areas. Each area must cooperate with the other areas so that no area is disadvantaged.
Work flow relationships are where work is done by different departments in a fixed sequence. That means that one department needs to finish its job before the work can be continued by another department. The development and maintenance of these work flow relationships is very important for managers because they are dependant on the preceding areas for his of her own work and is responsible to the managers and workers in the further stages of the chain.
This work flow sequence can be shown in charts and graphs. This is very useful so that "bottle-necks" (areas where work could be slowed down or even stopped) can be seen and avoided and the system understood.
Suppliers, Manufacturing, Packaging, Sales, Distribution
There are three areas where problems can occur in work flow relationships:
Information - Poor communication can lead to many problems. Managers need to know of any delays etc. so that they can more effectively organise their areas. This means that there must be frequent and accurate information conveyed between areas. If this does not happen it can cause difficulties which may have been avoided and also may cause ill will between departments affecting their ability to work as an efficient team.
Timing - The timing in this sort of work flow is very important. If the work schedule in one area is changed then it may affect all or some of the other areas in the chain (which may prove to be quite difficult) This can also lead to ill will between departments.
Ways of Working - The manager needs to monitor all of the work flow areas in order to ensure that the way in which the work is carried out is compatible between all areas. Each area must cooperate with the other areas so that no area is disadvantaged.
WHAT IS MOTIVATION?
WHAT IS MOTIVATION?
The word "motivation" is often used to describe certain sorts of behaviour. A student who studies hard and tries for top grades may be described as being "highly motivated", while her friend may say that he is "finding it hard to get motivated" to study for an exam or to start an assignment. Such statements imply that motivation has a major influence on our behaviour but they don't really tell us how.
A Definition of Motivation
Motivation can be defined as a concept used to describe the factors within an individual which arouse, maintain and channel behaviour towards a goal.
Another way to say this is that motivation is goal-directed behaviour.
While it is easy to see the things that a person does, it is much harder to guess at why they are doing it. As an example let us look at our hard-working student. It may be that that student is working hard because she wants to get high marks, but it might also be that she really enjoys learning that subject. She may be striving for high marks because she wants to impress her friends or because she wants a good job, so that the marks themselves are really a step toward another goal. It is dangerous to assume that you know what is motivating someone because you really can't "read their mind".
Since it is part of a manager's job to get their work done through others, managers need to understand why people do things (that is, what motivates them?) so that s/he can convince their employees to work towards the goals of the organisation.
The word "motivation" is often used to describe certain sorts of behaviour. A student who studies hard and tries for top grades may be described as being "highly motivated", while her friend may say that he is "finding it hard to get motivated" to study for an exam or to start an assignment. Such statements imply that motivation has a major influence on our behaviour but they don't really tell us how.
A Definition of Motivation
Motivation can be defined as a concept used to describe the factors within an individual which arouse, maintain and channel behaviour towards a goal.
Another way to say this is that motivation is goal-directed behaviour.
While it is easy to see the things that a person does, it is much harder to guess at why they are doing it. As an example let us look at our hard-working student. It may be that that student is working hard because she wants to get high marks, but it might also be that she really enjoys learning that subject. She may be striving for high marks because she wants to impress her friends or because she wants a good job, so that the marks themselves are really a step toward another goal. It is dangerous to assume that you know what is motivating someone because you really can't "read their mind".
Since it is part of a manager's job to get their work done through others, managers need to understand why people do things (that is, what motivates them?) so that s/he can convince their employees to work towards the goals of the organisation.
What is Motivational interviewing ?
Our best current definition is this: Motivational interviewing is a directive, client-centered counseling style for eliciting behavior change by helping clients to explore and resolve ambivalence. Compared with nondirective counselling, it is more focused and goal-directed. The examination and resolution of ambivalence is its central purpose, and the counselor is intentionally directive in pursuing this goal.
WHAT IS INTERNATIONAL LABOUR ORGANIZATION ?
INTERNATIONAL LABOUR ORGANIZATION (ILO): Tripartite world body representative of labour, management and government and is an agency of the United Nations. It disseminates labour information and sets minimum international labour standards called "conventions", offered to member nations for adoption. Its headquarters are in Geneva, Switzerland.
WHAT IS TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT ?
TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT (TQM): TQM is a complete re-organizing of the work process and the workplace by application of principles of “teamwork’ and work “teams” that are supposed to involve the worker and give them greater control in their work. It involves “teams” of workers monitoring and controlling each other in their work process, production and application of agreement or employer policies. It results in a scaling down of the workforce and increase of low morale. Some researchers have described TQM as “management by stress.”
What is Positive Attitude ?
The Power of Positive Attitude
by Remez Sasson
Positive attitude helps to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life, and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking. If you adopt it as a way of life, it will bring constructive changes into your life, and makes them happier, brighter and more successful. With a positive attitude you see the bright side of life, become optimstic and expect the best to happen. It is certainly a state of mind that is well worth developing and strengthening.
Positive attitude manifests in the following ways:
Positive thinking.
Constructive thinking.
Creative thinking.
Expecting success.
Optimism.
Motivation to accomplish your goals.
Being inspired.
Choosing happiness.
Not giving up.
Looking at failure and problems as blessings in disguise.
Believing in yourself and in your abilities.
Displaying self-esteem and confidence.
Looking for solutions.
Seeing opportunities.
A positive attitude leads to happiness and success and can change your whole life. If you look at the bright side of life, your whole life becomes filled with light. This light affects not only you and the way you look at the world, but also your whole environment and the people around you. If it is strong enough, it becomes contagious.
The benefits of a positive attitude:
Helps achieving goals and attaining success.
Success achieved faster and more easily.
More happiness.
More energy.
Greater inner power and strength.
The ability to inspire and motivate yourself and others.
Fewer difficulties encountered along the way.
The ability to surmount any difficulty.
Life smiles at you.
People respect you.
Negative attitude says: you cannot achieve success.
Positive attitude says: You can achieve success.
If you have been exhibiting a negative attitude and expecting failure and difficulties, it is now the time to change the way you think. It is time to get rid of negative thoughts and behavior and lead a happy and successful life. Why not start today? If you have tried and failed, it only means that you have not tried enough.
Developing a positive attitude that will lead you to happiness and success:
- Choose to be happy.
- Look at the bright side of life.
- Choose to be and stay optimistic.
- Find reasons to smile more often.
- Have faith in yourself and in the Power of the Universe.
- Contemplate upon the futility of negative thinking and worries.
- Associate yourself with happy people.
- Read inspiring stories.
- Read inspiring quotes.
- Repeat affirmations that inspire and motivate you.
- Visualize only what you want to happen.
- Learn to master your thoughts.
- Learn concentration and meditation.
Following even only one of the above suggestions, will bring more light into your life!
by Remez Sasson
Positive attitude helps to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life, and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking. If you adopt it as a way of life, it will bring constructive changes into your life, and makes them happier, brighter and more successful. With a positive attitude you see the bright side of life, become optimstic and expect the best to happen. It is certainly a state of mind that is well worth developing and strengthening.
Positive attitude manifests in the following ways:
Positive thinking.
Constructive thinking.
Creative thinking.
Expecting success.
Optimism.
Motivation to accomplish your goals.
Being inspired.
Choosing happiness.
Not giving up.
Looking at failure and problems as blessings in disguise.
Believing in yourself and in your abilities.
Displaying self-esteem and confidence.
Looking for solutions.
Seeing opportunities.
A positive attitude leads to happiness and success and can change your whole life. If you look at the bright side of life, your whole life becomes filled with light. This light affects not only you and the way you look at the world, but also your whole environment and the people around you. If it is strong enough, it becomes contagious.
The benefits of a positive attitude:
Helps achieving goals and attaining success.
Success achieved faster and more easily.
More happiness.
More energy.
Greater inner power and strength.
The ability to inspire and motivate yourself and others.
Fewer difficulties encountered along the way.
The ability to surmount any difficulty.
Life smiles at you.
People respect you.
Negative attitude says: you cannot achieve success.
Positive attitude says: You can achieve success.
If you have been exhibiting a negative attitude and expecting failure and difficulties, it is now the time to change the way you think. It is time to get rid of negative thoughts and behavior and lead a happy and successful life. Why not start today? If you have tried and failed, it only means that you have not tried enough.
Developing a positive attitude that will lead you to happiness and success:
- Choose to be happy.
- Look at the bright side of life.
- Choose to be and stay optimistic.
- Find reasons to smile more often.
- Have faith in yourself and in the Power of the Universe.
- Contemplate upon the futility of negative thinking and worries.
- Associate yourself with happy people.
- Read inspiring stories.
- Read inspiring quotes.
- Repeat affirmations that inspire and motivate you.
- Visualize only what you want to happen.
- Learn to master your thoughts.
- Learn concentration and meditation.
Following even only one of the above suggestions, will bring more light into your life!
What is stress management ?
interventions designed to reduce the impact of stressors in the workplace. These can have an individual focus, aimed at increasing an individual’s ability to cope with stressors. Stress-management programmes can also have an organizational focus and attempt to remove the stressors in a role. For example, improving communication may reduce uncertainty. Programmes with an organizational focus are relatively rare.
What is stress ?
what stress Is... Definitions
This is a dangerous topic!
There have been many different definitions of what stress is, whether used by psychologists, medics, management consultants or others. There seems to have been something approaching open warfare between competing definitions: Views have been passionately held and aggressively defended.
What complicates this is that intuitively we all feel that we know what stress is, as it is something we have all experienced. A definition should therefore be obvious…except that it is not.
Problems of Definition
One problem with a single definition is that stress is made up of many things: It is a family of related experiences, pathways, responses and outcomes caused by a range of different events or circumstances. Different people experience different aspects and identify with different definitions.
Hans Selye (one of the founding fathers of stress research) identified another part of this problem when he saw that different types of definition operate in different areas of knowledge. To a lawyer or a linguist, words have very precise, definite and fixed meanings. In other fields, ideas and definitions continue evolving as research and knowledge expands.
Selye’s view in 1956 was that “stress is not necessarily something bad – it all depends on how you take it. The stress of exhilarating, creative successful work is beneficial, while that of failure, humiliation or infection is detrimental.” Selye believed that the biochemical effects of stress would be experienced irrespective of whether the situation was positive or negative.
Since then, ideas have moved on. In particular, the harmful biochemical and long-term effects of stress have rarely been observed in positive situations.
This is a dangerous topic!
There have been many different definitions of what stress is, whether used by psychologists, medics, management consultants or others. There seems to have been something approaching open warfare between competing definitions: Views have been passionately held and aggressively defended.
What complicates this is that intuitively we all feel that we know what stress is, as it is something we have all experienced. A definition should therefore be obvious…except that it is not.
Problems of Definition
One problem with a single definition is that stress is made up of many things: It is a family of related experiences, pathways, responses and outcomes caused by a range of different events or circumstances. Different people experience different aspects and identify with different definitions.
Hans Selye (one of the founding fathers of stress research) identified another part of this problem when he saw that different types of definition operate in different areas of knowledge. To a lawyer or a linguist, words have very precise, definite and fixed meanings. In other fields, ideas and definitions continue evolving as research and knowledge expands.
Selye’s view in 1956 was that “stress is not necessarily something bad – it all depends on how you take it. The stress of exhilarating, creative successful work is beneficial, while that of failure, humiliation or infection is detrimental.” Selye believed that the biochemical effects of stress would be experienced irrespective of whether the situation was positive or negative.
Since then, ideas have moved on. In particular, the harmful biochemical and long-term effects of stress have rarely been observed in positive situations.
What is Time Management and Leadership ?
Time Management and Leadership
Time in the organization is constant and irreversible. Nothing can be substituted for time. Worse, once wasted, it can never be regained. Leaders have numerous demands on their limited time. Time keeps getting away and they have trouble controlling it. No matter what their position, they cannot stop time, they cannot slow it down, nor can they speed it up. Yet, time needs to be effectively managed to be effective.
On the other hand, you can become such a time fanatic convert by building time management spreadsheets, creating priority folders and lists, color coding tasks, and separating paperwork into priority piles; that you are then waste more time by trying to manage it.
In addition, time management techniques may become so complex that you soon give up and return to your old time wasting methods.
What most people actually need to do is to analyze how they spend their time and implement a few time saving methods that will gain them the most time. The following are examples of some of the biggest time wasters:
* Thinking about it, worrying about it, putting it off...(Indecision)
* Creating inefficiencys by implementing first instead of analyzing first.
* Unanticipated interruptions that do not pay off.
* Procrastinating.
* Making unrealistic time estimates.
* Unnecessary errors (not enough time to do it right, but enough time to do it over).
* Crisis management.
* Poor organization.
* Ineffective meetings.
* Micro-managing by failing to let others perform and grow.
* Doing urgent rather than important tasks.
* Poor planning and lack of contingency plans.
* Failing to delegate.
* Lacking priorities, standards, policies, and procedures.
The following are examples of time savers:
* Managing the decision making process, not the decisions.
* Concentrating on doing only one task at a time.
* Establishing daily, short-term, mid-term, and long-term priorities.
* Handling correspondence expeditiously with quick, short letters and memos.
* Throwing unneeded things away.
* Establishing personal deadlines and ones for the organization.
* Not wasting other people's time.
* Ensuring all meetings have a purpose, time limit, and include only essential people.
* Getting rid of busywork.
* Maintaining accurate calendars; abide by them.
* Knowing when to stop a task, policy, or procedure.
* Delegating everything possible and empowering subordinates.
* Keeping things simple.
* Ensuring time is set aside to accomplish high priority tasks.
* Setting aside time for reflection.
* Using checklists and To-Do lists.
* Adjusting priorities as a result of new tasks.
Time in the organization is constant and irreversible. Nothing can be substituted for time. Worse, once wasted, it can never be regained. Leaders have numerous demands on their limited time. Time keeps getting away and they have trouble controlling it. No matter what their position, they cannot stop time, they cannot slow it down, nor can they speed it up. Yet, time needs to be effectively managed to be effective.
On the other hand, you can become such a time fanatic convert by building time management spreadsheets, creating priority folders and lists, color coding tasks, and separating paperwork into priority piles; that you are then waste more time by trying to manage it.
In addition, time management techniques may become so complex that you soon give up and return to your old time wasting methods.
What most people actually need to do is to analyze how they spend their time and implement a few time saving methods that will gain them the most time. The following are examples of some of the biggest time wasters:
* Thinking about it, worrying about it, putting it off...(Indecision)
* Creating inefficiencys by implementing first instead of analyzing first.
* Unanticipated interruptions that do not pay off.
* Procrastinating.
* Making unrealistic time estimates.
* Unnecessary errors (not enough time to do it right, but enough time to do it over).
* Crisis management.
* Poor organization.
* Ineffective meetings.
* Micro-managing by failing to let others perform and grow.
* Doing urgent rather than important tasks.
* Poor planning and lack of contingency plans.
* Failing to delegate.
* Lacking priorities, standards, policies, and procedures.
The following are examples of time savers:
* Managing the decision making process, not the decisions.
* Concentrating on doing only one task at a time.
* Establishing daily, short-term, mid-term, and long-term priorities.
* Handling correspondence expeditiously with quick, short letters and memos.
* Throwing unneeded things away.
* Establishing personal deadlines and ones for the organization.
* Not wasting other people's time.
* Ensuring all meetings have a purpose, time limit, and include only essential people.
* Getting rid of busywork.
* Maintaining accurate calendars; abide by them.
* Knowing when to stop a task, policy, or procedure.
* Delegating everything possible and empowering subordinates.
* Keeping things simple.
* Ensuring time is set aside to accomplish high priority tasks.
* Setting aside time for reflection.
* Using checklists and To-Do lists.
* Adjusting priorities as a result of new tasks.
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